"Accepted" or "Received"?

A few days ago, while I was working out at the fitness center, I met a young man who pleasantly distracted me. Unfortunately, I was only able to complete about half of my regular workout, but it was worth the conversation that would ensue. There was a fit, attractive young woman also exercising at the fitness center while we were there, so the young man stroke up a conversation with me after completing a set of bench press, "Would you f*** that girl?" I replied, "Nah, man, I'm married." Thus began a 45-minute conversation on love. He talked about how he'd recently gotten his heart broken by a woman whom he had been dating for four years and he was worried that his "game" wasn't good enough to find anyone else. So we began to discuss the difference between infatuation and real love, playing the emotional dating game versus the lifelong commitment of marriage, how good it is to commit to one person, while exploring the depths of what love is. He spoke in relative terms (as is the custom of our culture) and I spoke in absolutes. I told him that Love is a Chisel and a committed act of the will, but he kept insisting that it is merely an emotion, that a person can potentially fall in and out of love at a whim. Somehow the idea of love in our culture has become so romanticized that it has evolved into a fairy tale Chick Flick involving a baby angel in a diaper shooting arrows at unbeknownst strangers, so that they may magically "fall in love." But there's also a chance that this flying meddler might shoot someone else to love you, thereby creating an absolute insecurity of any semblance of commitment. Sure, it's a risk. Sure, it's uncertain. But a person can also be sure that it's worth all the risk and uncertainty. It's a shame that the pop-culture definition of love these days has been so distorted and twisted that we "love" anything, from lamps to tacos to puppies to people. I'm sure God is quite annoyed with what has become of something he intends to be the most valuable intangible that our hearts can ever experience, yet he knew our wickedness would pervert such a precious thing, for it is our nature to commit such travesties.

1 Corinthians 2:6-16
"Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”—

these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ."

Jesus once said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he would lay his life down for his friends." It is a sad condition in which we find ourselves when love becomes selfish. We worry far too much about our "game," our image, our appearance, and how far it can get us. Masks, facades, fakeness. It's what we do. For some of us, it becomes who we are, forbidding anyone to truly know us. But, as it is, many will never know what love is. A person might think he knows what it is, a la Forrest Gump, yet never taste the deepest beauties that lie within.

The most miraculous event that can ever occur in a person's life is the transformation that occurs in the depths of the soul, for the sake of knowing God. Why does this happen? It all goes back to the character of God: He not only knows love and gives love, but God is love. But what is the process by which this transformation happens? So many people will say that they "accepted" the gift of the grace of God and it changed them forever. A few might say that they "received" the gift. Almost everyone will interject that there's no difference in either case, that it's all semantics. I disagree. I think it's more than just words.

Here's my point... There is something out there that everyone wants: happiness. There is only one way to get it. God has the gift that produces happiness in his hand and there are two perceived ways to obtain the gift. Obviously, God knows exactly what creates true lasting happiness within a person, and he is certainly willing to give that gift.

Some would say that it is a gift in a wrapped box that must first be "accepted" and then opened. The acceptance of the gift includes many elements, chief of which is a willingness by the recipient to take the gift. In order to accept a gift, the recipient first takes into account the character of the giver -- is he selfless or is there a hidden selfish agenda for him, does he actually offer a gift that can bring a smile to my face, does he even know what can make me smile, etc. Based on this information, the recipient can choose to reject or trash the gift before it is opened. If the recipient perceives that the giver has pure motives and is concerned about the best interest of someone other than himself, then he might accept the gift willingly and proceed to open it. There is a conscious decision being made both by the giver and the recipient, a synergistic act in which the recipient can actually take partial credit for the benefit of the impact of the gift, since he decided to accept it.

The other side of the coin is when a person "receives" the gift already unwrapped and it clothes him with gladness and transformation, without even a hint of refusal, for it is far more beautiful than any other gift that he has ever been offered. There's no concealment or even a potential for selfish motive on behalf of the giver. Everything is pure, everything is open, everything is good without distortion. The acceptance of the character and the motives of the giver comes first so that the receiving of the gift need not come with a choice. It is a ultimately a passive act for the recipient, while the giver lavishes the goodness of the gift upon him with great joy. Because the giver knows exactly who he himself is and knows exactly who the recipient is and what he needs, this idea is that a monergistic act on the part of the giver creates within the recipient the deepest satisfaction, gladness, and fulfillment imaginable, which is the perfect completion of the recipient's desire to be happy. All credit belongs to the giver while the recipient simply receives the benefit.

To put it all in perspective, the reason God showers his people with grace to believe in him through Jesus is that love is pure as He is pure. He gives the greatest gifts. And we reap the benefits. There's no striving to please God. We don't have to put on our best "game" or use crafty lines to perk God's interest in us. He loves us because He can, because He is love. And He loves us even when we rebel against him, choosing to follow any other kind of fakeness that will never grant us lasting happiness. Like Hosea repeatedly returned to his unfaithful wife Gomer (read the book of Hosea), so God is with us.

Let us enjoy His favor as we receive more and more of His goodness while He accepts us as his own, for He is good! What a precious gift!!