We Are the Breath of Each Other

Back in Morocco, we were such a close, tight-knit group. The culture of community there was like none other that I have experienced. So coming back to the Western philosophy of independence was tough. Attempting to make the transition back into "church" as it is here in the States has been a struggle for us. For the past years spent in Morocco, our lifeline was our intimate Home Group who faithfully supported each other through thick and thin. But since our reentry back into the States, it has been exceedingly difficult to connect in such a profound way. And it may be tragically true that we may never again have such a close community. The Lord only knows.

However, we are hopeful. The new group of believers that we have chosen to join gives us great anticipation in regaining this closeness that we so desire. It has truly been interesting to observe our need for this type of nearness to one another. You have heard it said that "man is not meant to be an island." Even more than that, we believe that man is meant to be a brother, and a son, and a father, and an uncle. He is meant to be part of a family. Without this, he suffocates.

God has spoken to us a lot lately through a family. This family's name is Red Sea Church, a humble group of people that have been connected deeply by the unity of Jesus. As a family, we have been welcomed with loving, open arms and are enjoying rejoicing with our brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, and other relatives here in Portland.

It is such a far-reaching and meaningful truth that we are the breath of each other. In other words, without each other, we suffocate. We can no longer breathe. We can no longer grow. And we can no longer be truly alive. Kattie and I have found renewed aliveness lately in reconnecting with our family here. It has taken us over six months to do so, but the Lord has provided much grace in leading us into His loving presence with these people. By no means are they perfect. And by no stretch of the imagination are they the best. But they are family -- no matter how dysfunctional. And family is where life happens. It is good. It is good to remember this.

I think that the essence of being truly present and being intentionally living life on purpose in a place means putting down roots and finding a family to be with -- for however long life takes us wherever *here* may be. We have been reminded of that a couple of times lately. It is not good enough for us to simply look forward to our return to Africa in order for our lives to count for something. Our lives are supposed to count here and now, wherever here is and however long now takes. In Portland and in Africa. It is a sin for us to waste this time here and do nothing with all these glorious gifts that God has given us, simply for the sake of "doing good later in Africa." And so we receive the rebuke and go along with this family who have all similarly been rebuked one way or another, and we live life with them, serving the people around us, fully alive here and now.

And we breathe the fresh air of togetherness.

Leia Mais…

If I were the Devil...

I'm not a Hollywood fan, but I keep up on the news enough to know what's going on. In the past few years, several actors/actresses have died from drug overdoses, the most recent being Heath Ledger. Many people (maybe most people) aspire to the lives lived by these "stars." The lights, glamor, cars, clothing, and cash attract people into thinking that the lifestyles of these stars is what we "commoners" should strive for. And people buy into this... Hollywood, like the rest of society is plagued by abuse of all sorts (drugs, alcohol, spouses, children, men, women....), divorce, disrespect, lack of integrity, and the list goes on...and on... Our attention is drawn to it so much, magazines in the supermarket aisle are plastered with it, nighttime TV shows are centered around it, and the Internet seems devoted to it too. So why is it that society seems to be spiraling downward so fast? To many of us, sin is the obvious reason. But sin has always been present (since that whole apple in the garden thing..). So why now? Why so much? When I heard the following song the other day, it struck me as a pretty good explanation...

If I Were
by Andy Gullahorn

If I were the devil, I wouldn’t wear red
I wouldn’t have horns or a pitchfork
I wouldn’t breathe fire ‘cause it might give me away
But if I were the devil, you’d never know
I’d befriend you quick and corrupt you slow
So you don’t notice until it’s far too late

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

If I were the devil, I’d spend all day
Lowering standards of what’s OK
To think, to say, to watch on your TV
I’d break down the value of promises kept
And fade out truth ‘til there’s nothing left
Except gossip and lies popping up as thick as weeds

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

I might not be as foreign as you think
‘Cause I wouldn’t only show my evil side
I’ve got the time and patience just to wait
And steal your soul just one sin at a time
Like I would, if I were

No, I’m not the devil, but if I was
I’d take God’s people and split ‘em up
To keep their minds off who they’re called to be
So they’re no longer fighting over living or dead
It’s “is it the body or just bread?”
While all the unfed die hungry on the street

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

I might not be as foreign as you think
‘Cause I wouldn’t only show my evil side
I’ve got the time and patience just to wait
And steal your soul just one sin at a time
Like I would, if I were

I’d make moms and dads that never stick around
Pain so bad you have to drink to drown
And guilt so I can kick you when you’re down
And I would, if I were

If I were the devil, I wouldn’t wear red
And I wouldn’t breathe fire ‘cause it might give me away.....

Just a thought...

Leia Mais…

Like No Other: Sacred and Holy

Jim and Sarah

Evangelist turned and sat down on a rock beside the road. He seemed to be waiting and resting until the next conversation. From where I stood I could see a couple heading toward us. They seemed to be arguing, and not too quietly either.

Evangelist stood up as they came closer and approached them. They were so involved in their quarrel they didn't see him until he spoke to them.

"Good afternoon," Evangelist said. "May I help you?"

The man looked up, startled. "Well, yes! You could start by minding your own business."

Evangelist smiled. "I beg your pardon. There was no indication that you desired your conversation to be kept secret."

At this the woman blushed and apologized. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to broadcast our difficulties. You can't help us. I don't think anyone can help us."

"I don't know if that is true. What are your names?"

The woman responded, "My name is Sarah. This is my future ex-husband, Jim. Who are you?"

"My name is Evangelist. I travel on the road, waiting to help people in situations like yours."

Sarah glanced at her husband, who was still scowling, and asked if he wanted to talk with Evangelist. He didn't look to happy about it, but agreed.

Evangelist began by asking how long they had been married, and how long they had been unhappy together. They responded that they had been married about three years, and both agreed that about six months into the marriage things had started to go downhill. Evangelist asked them what they argued about and learned that they argued about everything.

Evangelist then asked them if they wanted good advice or good news.

At this Jim looked up, appearing interested. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that there are two approaches to take in helping couples with troubled marriages. One is to tell them what they're doing wrong. The unhappy couple is told, 'Do this, don't do that.' This is the good advice approach. The other is to tell them of someone who can help them by giving them the power to do what is right. This is the good news approach."

Evangelist looked at Sarah. "Have you read any books on how to have a happy marriage?"

Sarah laughed. "I have read so many books I can't remember them all. There have been books on finances, sex, communication, intimacy, and openness." She glared at Jim. "He hasn't read any of them."

Evangelist ignored her last comment and asked if any of the books had helped.

"Well, I learned a lot."

"But that's not what I asked. Have they helped? Are you happier or not?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you learned things in the books that were good, but that you didn't have the power to put into practice?"

"Yes, that happens a lot."

"So you have received much good advice, and no good news?"

"Yes."

Here Evangelist turned to Jim and asked what he thought of the books.

Jim said he avoided them for two reasons. "They tell me what I need to do, and I already know more than I am able to do. If I can't choke down what I already have on my plate, why should I fill it up with more?"

Evangelist asked for his second reason.

"Well, one of the things we fight about a lot is the fact that Sarah wants me to be more of a leader--to show more initiative. Then she gives me all this stuff to read. She wants me to be a leader--as long as she gets to lead me into it."

At this Sarah started to sputter, but Evangelist motioned to her, and she became quiet.

"Did you understand the distinction I made between good advice and good news?"

Jim answered, "Yes. But there is a problem with what you say. Anything you tell us would have to go into the good advice category. We are the only two people in this marriage, and if it is going to be done, we will have to do it. And we don't seem to have the ability."

Jim then turned to go, but stopped when Evangelist asked, "What would you say if I told you that the problem with your marriage is that there are only two people in it?"

Sarah began to look upset. "You're not talking about open marriage, are you? Seeing someone else?"

Evangelist laughed. "Yes, but not the way you think. I am talking about God. If God were in your lives, you would have the power to do what He requires of you."

"How can that make any difference? We have religious friends who are every bit as unhappy as we are."

"I wasn't referring to a religion empty of a relationship with God. Most religious people use their religion as a source of good advice, and the good advice only condemns them when they fail. This mistake is even made by professing Christians, who should know better."

"So how is your message any different? Are you saying that the good advice is bad?"

"Not at all." Evangelist turned and pointed to an apple tree beside the road. "Do you see this tree? Does it produce apples or not?"

Jim laughed. "Of course it does."

"Does it produce apples because it is an apple tree, or does it try to produce apples in an attempt to become an apple tree?"

"The apples are a result of what the tree is."

Evangelist then pointed to a small bush beside the road. "Can this bush become an apple tree by producing apples?"

"Of course not."

"Suppose it tried to. What would you say to it?"

Sarah interrupted. "I suppose you have a point in all this?"

Evangelist nodded. "What would you say?"

"I would say the attempt was futile."

"Would this mean that you disliked apples?"

"Certainly not. It only means that I know that apples are not grown on bushes."

"Just so. In the same way, the good advice you have received is truly good. But you do not have the power to put it into practice. You are a bush trying to produce apples."

"What can be done about it?"

"There is someone who has the authority and power to change you. He does so when you come to Him on the basis of the death and resurrection of His Son."

Both Jim and Sarah seemed to be following the argument, so Evangelist went on.

"Marriage does not change what you are. It does, however, amplify what you are. This is why so many have trouble in marriage. When they come into an intimate relationship with another person, their self-centeredness is amplified many times over. No amount of marriage counseling can change that. A marriage can only be transformed when the individuals in that marriage are transformed. You cannot have your marriage transformed until each of you as individuals come to God through Christ. Then, as a result, the marriage will be changed. The good news must come first, and then the good advice. Until then, the only value that good advice has is that it reveals to you how far short of God's requirements you fall."

Jim and Sarah stepped back for a moment and talked quietly. Then they turned and thanked Evangelist. Jim said, "There is much in what you say. We need some time to think it over, but we will be back." At this, they went on. As they left, their conversation was subdued. It was clear that this approach to marriage was not going to have the same effect as the other things they had tried. This time, things would be different.

-Douglas Wilson
(from Persuasions: A dream of reason meeting unbelief.)

It is heartbreaking to see what has become of the idea of marriage these days in postmodern society. A couple of things really bother me about how savagely so many people treat this wonderful, sacred thing that God has given us. In search of the happiness that every human being wants, the collateral damage inflicted upon the holy covenant of marriage is unspeakable.

Often times, I wonder if Hollywood may be a microcosm of our American culture as a whole. Or, at least, it's easier to see since the lives of its inhabitants are constantly in the spotlight. Anyway, I just heard the story of Eddie Murphy and his new "wife". After only two weeks of marriage, they're calling it quits. Nice. That sure does improve the image of the institution of marriage in this country. I guess marriage is just like anything else: if it gets too hard, just quit. No longer does the saying, "Quitters Never Win" hold any sort of value to people these days. Or maybe it doesn't matter so much who is a winner and who is a loser. No wait, we don't want anybody to be a loser because it hurts their feelings too much. No longer is there even a definition for loser because it is too politically incorrect to call someone that. So, more and more people these days are not even bothering with marriage, as co-habitation is the popular fad now. At the least, even if considering marriage, a couple engages in co-habitation just to "make sure he/she is the right one." Then when asked the question, "So how is married life treating you?" after they did make it official, the response is usually something like, "Well, it's not much different." Wow, what a tragedy! This first thing that bothers me so much is the delusion of the sanctity of marriage.

Then there are those that, in a quest to satisfy the appetite for happiness, search for alternative ways to be "married". For the ones who disregard God, there are civil unions that make it legal, excluding Him. For the ones who ignore God and His original design for men and women, there are domestic partnerships that make it acceptable, in spite of Him. For the ones who are simply unsatisfied with only one person, there is such a thing as Open Marriage that includes more than two people, thereby defiling the entire thing. And for the ones who look for the easy way out, there are prenuptial agreements so that no one is cheated out of his/her possessions. Adultery is a problem. Divorce is commonplace. Working things out is taboo and too hard. This second thing that bothers me so much is the weakening of the commitment and perversion of the sanctity of marriage.

Yes, it is true that God's plan for every marriage is happiness. But...

"Marriage is meant to be a miniature of heaven—a
fragment of the celestial blessedness, let down into
this world.

Marriage is meant to be a little sanctuary, into which
husband and wife may flee from earth's storms and
dangers, where in love's shelter, their hearts fed with
affection's daily bread—they may dwell in quiet peace.

Marriage is meant to be a shelter in which, covered
from the frosts of the world and shielded from its cold
and tempests—two lives may grow together into richest
beauty, realizing their sweetest dreams of happiness,
blending in whatever things are true, whatever things
are pure, and attaining the finest possibilities of godly
character.

Marriage is meant to be a holy ark, floating on the wild
floods of human life—like Noah's ark on the deluge,
bearing to heaven's gates, to the harbor of glory—the
lives which God has shut within its doors.

A godly marriage is a little nook in the very heart of
God, where faithful souls are held close to the Father's
heart, and carried safely, amid dangers and sorrows, to
the home above."

-J.R. Miller
(from The Marriage Altar)

For those who keep it pure, sacred, and holy, when asked the question, "So how is married life treating you?" the response is very different. It also is pure, sacred, and holy: "It is far better than I ever expected. I am now in a place that I could otherwise never be: in the arms of my spouse, like in the arms of my God."

Leia Mais…

Torn

We live in a fallen world. So many things are backwards these days. My wife, Kattie, was channel surfing the other day and came across a weird combination of TV shows -- imagine that! On one channel she saw two women gearing up to go fishing as professional fisherwomen. On the next channel, she saw two men dicing vegetables on their own cooking show. Odd, right? Well, that seems to be quite acceptable, and actually an increasing norm in these days of precautionary political correctness.

It seems that more and more these days, roles are reversed and we wonder why things keep spiraling downward into the erosion of our culture. In contrast to my opinion, some would say that our culture is not eroding, but rather, advancing as people are becoming more and more liberated in their own lifestyles, regardless of the roles that men and women have been designed to carry out since the beginning of time. "We are becoming more sophisticated as a people," they say. We have all of our medical and technological advances, our progressive thinking and philosophy, yet freedom of expression and speech is reserved only for those who are liberating themselves from the captivity of human design. The standard that we once had is now the opposition to the standard we now have.

The influence of the world and the selfishness within it has corrupted our minds and hearts. It has permeated us; thus, we are broken.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
1 John 2:15-17

As people live among each other, there are so many lifestyles, so many choices made, and so many different perspectives of the way things ought to be. Of course, I have my viewpoint. The guy next to me may not share it. Now, I believe that my ethical and moral viewpoints are correct since they align with the Bible, but for me to outrightly impose these views upon the guy next to me in a judgmental, harsh way is to tell him that I don't really love him at all.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.... And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
1 John 4:7-12, 21

Someone very close to Kattie and I, a true friend, lives a lifestyle that is contrary to the teachings of the Bible, and therefore creates a feeling within us that is inescapable: we are torn. We want to love this dear friend, and hopefully we are, but our hearts break to love someone whose lifestyle is something that will never fully satisfy, no matter how much they hope it will. Their rationale for living this lifestyle is that it "makes me happy." If this is true, then our definition of happiness is far from the actual reality of it. And what's more important anyway: to be happy or to be holy?

The Way of Wisdom

"Wisdom has built her house;
she has hewn her seven pillars.
She has slaughtered her beasts; she has mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
She has sent out her young women to call
from the highest places in the town,
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
To him who lacks sense she says,
“Come, eat of my bread
and drink of the wine I have mixed.
Leave your simple ways, and live,
and walk in the way of insight.”

Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
For by me your days will be multiplied,
and years will be added to your life.
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself;
if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

The Way of Folly

The woman Folly is loud;
she is seductive and knows nothing.
She sits at the door of her house;
she takes a seat on the highest places of the town,
calling to those who pass by,
who are going straight on their way,
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
And to him who lacks sense she says,
“Stolen water is sweet,
and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
But he does not know that the dead are there,
that her guests are in the depths of Sheol."
Proverbs 9

Oh, how easy it is to be enticed by the way of fools! It seems like the world is inundated with so many outlets for foolishness, that the way of wisdom is almost totally covered by the overgrowth of the loudness of Folly. There is homosexuality, abortion, corruption, greed, lust, and the like... But whoever talks about honor, integrity, loyalty, conviction, and conscience any more? It is easy to submit to the weakness of folly, insisting on being simple and lacking sense. It is far more difficult to live in wisdom, with much insight.

But here's the tension: is it folly for a wise person to concede to the foolishness of the fool? In other words, is it okay to say nothing to our friend who is living a lifestyle of folly? Or, is it wisdom to try to convince this friend that these ways are wrong and will deserve a severe punishment if not corrected? Should we impose our convictions on our friend because "it's for your own good"? Where's the balance between standing for what's right and good and loving those who scoff at it? That's a hard question -- perhaps a mystery whose answer only God knows.

Here's what we do... We love them. And it utterly breaks our hearts that the decisions being made are foolish ones influenced by the "desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of possessions" are the fleeting and unfulfilling pleasures of this world. These things are unsatisfying and unsatisfactory. And God is not pleased. Yet He still loves, and is full of mercy. May that very mercy be poured out, so that Wisdom may one day be the way that is followed by the friends we so dearly love. We don't force the absolute standard of the Bible upon them, so as to fuel their scoffing and repulse them from the Truth. Instead, we reply to their questions with the gentleness and respect of that very Truth only when first approached by them. And we love them, praying for them with great hope.

Leia Mais…

On the Way

Another year gone, another one here. The year 2007 was a good one, full of many life-changing happenings. One chapter closed, and another opened. Our time in Morocco came to a screeching halt with the end of the 2006-2007 school year, and we began our hiatus back in the United States in June. After about six months of transitioning, Kattie and I are finally getting back into the American lifestyle -- I think. We often find ourselves nostalgic in our remembrance of great times in Morocco, with great affection for those amazing people that quickly became our friends there. Sometimes we long to be back "home" in Africa, but in the meantime we must wait and prepare to go back in a few years. they say that home is where your heart is. And the years leading up to this one have all climaxed to this point in our lives, which will surely prepare us for and enlighten us to the next steps that we must take.

Surely 2008 will be an important stepping stone in the large scheme of things, that is, the crazy plan that God has for our lives. At the end of this past year, God drew my heart very near to Kattie's and united us in marriage, a very important step in being all the more prepared to return to our calling in Africa. This year will certainly prove to continue these steps in teaching us how to be married and reveal to us where we are being led. For the time being, I will continue teaching in the Portland, OR area and Kattie will continue with the day care, while we hope to return to Texas and Adam's family for a while.

All in all, our lives are the Lord's and everything in them. This is His Kingdom and He will have His way. We just look forward to the amazing things that He will teach and show us along the way. And there will be more life-changing happenings, like the expansion of our families (Kattie's sisters are planning on having more children, Adam's niece is getting bigger, and Adam's brother is getting married in July). A major focus of our time back here in the States prior to our return to Africa will be focused toward enjoying our family. I'm sure it will be good. And then... We're on the way back to Africa. Always on the way...

Leia Mais…