His World

A Tribute to Johnny

2011-06-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine is battling cancer. Not only that, but after years of being a wrestler, coach, teacher, soldier, and emissary to countless friends in far off countries, his weary body seems to be tired of fighting. But the hope of his soul is never, ever diminished by a physical affliction. So when the time comes, enjoy your rest, my friend.

"Them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him."
1 Thessalonians 4:14
The words of Charles Haddon Spurgeon:

"Let us not imagine that the soul sleeps in insensibility. 'Today shalt thou be with me in paradise,' is the whisper of Christ to every dying saint. They 'sleep in Jesus,' but their souls are before the throne of God, praising Him day and night in His temple, singing hallelujahs to Him who washed them from their sins in His blood. The body sleeps in its lonely bed of earth, beneath the coverlet of grass. But what is this sleep? The idea connected with sleep is 'rest,' and that is the thought which the Spirit of God would convey to us. Sleep makes each night a Sabbath for the day. Sleep shuts fast the door of the soul, and bids all intruders tarry for a while, that the life within may enter its summer garden of ease. The toil-worn believer quietly sleeps, as does the weary child when it slumbers on its mother's breast. Oh! happy they who die in the Lord; they rest from their labours, and their works do follow them. Their quiet repose shall never be broken until God shall rouse them to give them their full reward. Guarded by angel watchers, curtained by eternal mysteries, they sleep on, the heritors of glory, till the fulness of time shall bring the fulness of redemption. What an awaking shall be theirs! They were laid in their last resting place, weary and worn, but such they shall not rise. They went to their rest with the furrowed brow, and the wasted features, but they wake up in beauty and glory. The shrivelled seed, so destitute of form and comeliness, rises from the dust a beauteous flower. The winter of the grave gives way to the spring of redemption and the summer of glory. Blessed is death, since it, through the divine power, disrobes us of this work-day garment, to clothe us with the wedding garment of incorruption. Blessed are those who 'sleep in Jesus.'"

I love and admire you, my friend. You truly are an inspiration. Keep worshipping with each breath that remains. I look forward to more long talks in eternity.

The Will of a Person

2011-02-04T15:28:00.000-08:00

You've heard it said, "Where there's a will, there's a way." I've been thinking a lot about choices lately.

In his book entitled Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell does a masterful job in presenting several case studies that illuminate multifaceted and often unique paths to success, including both controllable and uncontrollable variables. (It is an intriguing and very interesting book that I highly recommend.) Indirectly, one aspect of his discussion on the controllable variables on the pathway to success is the impact of the choices people make. Some of the most successful people, for instance, in addition to some peculiar circumstances in which they found themselves, made choices to perfect their craft to the tune of 10,000 hours of practice before their opportunity for fame was presented.

Concurrently, I'm reading another book called, A Deadly Misunderstanding: A Congressman's Quest to Bridge the Muslim-Christian Divide, written by former congressman, Mark Siljander. In his personal account of some of the diplomatic affairs in which he invested himself, the author clearly made a choice to act counter-culturally (biblically) by investing his time and energy into forging positive relationships, even friendships, with international leaders who are considered to be Muslim, anti-American terrorists. He made an intentional choice to [imperfectly] emulate the perfection of Jesus:

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Matthew 5:43-48
(see also Luke 23:34)

In agreement with Jesus' words above, Andrew Marin pleads with those of us who call ourselves Christians to do the same with people vastly different than ourselves, specifically those who are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender (GLBT). I have yet to read Marin's book entitled, Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community, but Kattie is reading it and giving me brief synoposes of the content.

I have, no doubt, learned a lot about choices over the years. Of course, I have much more to learn, based merely on my lack of experience, but I have learned some already. Through my own experience, especially in my journey with Jesus, I have contemplated the theology behind choice. But the relationship between the will of man and the will of God in salvation is not so much what I'm thinking about now. What I've been mulling in my mind over and over again is the impact that a person's choices has on him/herself and the people around him/her. I don't think it's possible for me to completely comprehend the severity of those choices, from the most important to the most routine.

Once again, Gladwell illustrates this well in the case of Chris Langan, a modern-day genius whose IQ is supposedly 30% higher than that of Albert Einstein. Due to a dysfunctional upbringing that included a mother estranged from her family with four children from four different fathers, a father who left the house before Chris was born, and a step-father (the one who stuck around for a while when Chris was growing up) who was an abusive alcoholic that would go on drinking sprees and disappear, Chris made choices in his life that made him seem lost in the world, despite his brilliant intellect. Through little fault of his own, the ripple effect of choices affected a genius in extreme ways: he never earned a college degree, in spite of being more intelligent than all of his professors, and now he's a horse rancher in rural Missouri, living a simple life while working on an intellectual masterpiece that will never get published. Gladwell doesn't focus his sociological study so much on choice as he does on circumstance, but I'm proposing that the circumstance is bred from choice. Where did the choice that began the chain reaction begin? Was it with Chris's mother, choosing unsuitable men, or was it even before that with her parents or an influential person in her life? If Chris grew up in a stable, two-parent, wealthy, suburban family whose decisions were rational and healthy, would he then have become one of the most famous brilliant men in history? Perhaps. Where does the impact of choice begin? Where does it end?

Life is full of choices for each one of us. Subsets of life are full of choices: education, politics, healthcare, lifestyle, entertainment, religion, morality, etc. So how do we know what to choose?

Moses puts it like this:

"See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."
Deuteronomy 30:15-20

I wonder, could this one choice perhaps be the beginning apex of impact for all other choices for each one of us? The end limit? Or somewhere in between? I urge myself, and my friends reading this to make choices that consider others, even if they seem to only involve self. Especially when communicating with one another, the way we choose to speak to or speak about others is critical. The tongue has the power of life and death. The choices we make now, regardless of how important or insignificant we perceive them to be, will certainly impact others at some point, whether we like it or not, whether we know it or not, whether we see it or not. And the actions that follow may perhaps make an even more significant impact, but we'll save that for another snowy day.

The Paradox of Self-Promotion

2010-09-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

When I started to seriously consider my employment status here in Fort Wayne, I realized that I had to update my resume and get it out there for anyone to consider for any number of positions. I am unable to recount the number of times I sent out my resume, along with tailored cover letters, promoting myself shamelessly in an effort to improve my financial situation. Through the providence of God, I have been offered a job in the field of education!

Jesus once said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Likewise, both James (James 4:6-10) and Peter (1 Peter 5:6-11) affirm that God desires humility for us more than our own self-promotion and conceited ambition. Yet it seems that our society is built around the opposite.

In addition to an overabundant distortion in the general perception of what constitutes true quality in a person, the behavior of so many people has tainted the trustworthiness of anyone desirous to complete any sort of transaction with another person. We're all suspicious of each other. As a result, we sometimes feel insecure when we introspect deeply about ourselves. So then there exists a need to promote the good qualities of ourselves to others so that we can seem more appealing for whatever reason or another, to meet our own ends. We tailor our cover letters and resumes in order to market ourselves to potential employers. We dress up in our best clothes, put product in our hair, paint on our faces, and wear bling around our wrists and necks so that someone else will think us more valuable. And the crazy thing is that the "someone else" is God on Sunday mornings or a date on Friday nights or an interviewing employer or, even worse, a potential adoptive family looking at our profile. Seriously, as my wife and I are planning to adopt children in the future, it is sad when I browse one of the Indiana state adoption sites that includes available adoptive children promoting themselves as if they need to in order to be successful in some sort of business transaction. What's even worse is that this type of self-promotion by these mere children is what appeals to some (not all) prospective adoptive parents.

Needless to say, we live in a twisted and crooked generation! We are told such things as: "put your best foot forward," "dress for success," "there's only one chance for a first impression," and "build your own personal brand." There are actually things called self-marketing plans! Now, I am not opposed to exhibiting a healthy inner confidence in the innate God-given qualities and talents that we possess. But we live in a self-help, self-promoting generation that excels in self-centered ideologies that attempt to cut out the "middle man," that is, God himself. Instead of "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible," there is a pervasive mentality that, "all I need is myself because with me this is possible, and I don't need God." There are so many forms of man-made philosophy, religion, and programs available to use in hopes that we may achieve some sort of inner consolation within ourselves that might validate our existence and our actions. But the question is: Are any of them right? If so, what are they and why? What does God have to say about it all? This plays out in so many aspects of society, some of which I'm very excited to talk about in the coming weeks and months in our house church.

First topic: birth control. Any thoughts?

Desperate Times Call for Desperate _____________ ?

2010-08-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

We've all heard it before: "Desperate times call for desperate" ... "measures." Even some movies are named based on this idea. My wife says we are nowhere near desperate, and she's right.

It's been nearly three months since we took a step of obedience to follow God's leadership into Fort Wayne, Indiana. We left Texas in June after purchasing a house a few months earlier for a small cost, knowing that much renovation needed to be done. Praise God for our friend, Bob, who has so generously donated his time and skills to almost single-handedly remodel our entire house! By the grace of God, HE'S THE MAN! We also left Texas not knowing what I would be doing for work, and three months into this new journey, I'm still looking. With our finances diminishing every day and the school year already underway, I'm still yet without a teaching job. Our circumstances seem bleak, but are they?

Psalm 94:18-19
When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

I cannot recall the number of resumes and applications I have submitted, but that means nothing to the infinite wisdom of God. Although I have been to several interviews, nothing has come of it all because God would not have it happen that way. Still, He reigns, not me. And He is my God, not a job or income.

A few times, I have felt desperate, knowing that, as the husband, father, and head of the household, I am responsible to provide for my family. It weighs heavily on a man, especially one without work for his hands. Yet God knows this. He is not unfamiliar with such a situation. In my desperation, I almost gave in to the temptation of the "riches of this world" that Satan offered Jesus during his time of testing in the wilderness (see Matthew 4:8-10). I went to an "interview" with a company on the north side of Fort Wayne, knowing nothing about the position. It turned out to be a sales pitch by a salesman for a sales position that would make me rich and happy. Sitting next to me was a young lady who seemed to be fresh out of college, devouring every word of the gimmick, growing more and more excited about the prospect of becoming rich. All I kept thinking was, "I don't care about that, or that, or that... I just need a little bit of money to pay the bills, nothing more." After some good advice from some faithful friends that included a reminder of the temptation of Jesus and the impatience of Abraham that produced Ishmael, I decided against attending the mandatory training. Desperate times... call for...

Today, I find myself in a dilemma I already faced a few weeks ago: I have an interview with the major school district in Fort Wayne for a position, and at the same time there's a potential temporary job at a company called Navistar that I found through a staffing agency. Last time, I was in this exact position, nothing came from any of it. But today, I feel different. I'm tired of being worried or stressed; it takes too much energy. Energy I'd rather spend enjoying my family. And what's the point anyway? Worry and stress don't change anything, especially when I'm convinced that God is going to provide for me regardless of my circumstances (Matthew 6:25-34).

So, I must pay attention. I must be sober-minded so that I may learn what God is trying to teach me in order to grow in my faith instead of idly standing by while it slowly withers away. So what am I learning? The saying goes, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." I disagree more and more as each day goes by. The reality is that "Desperate times call for desperate faith." In other words, desperate times require desperation, in faith, upon the providence of God. Without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). But with faith, anything and everything is possible (cf. Matthew 17:14-20).

So, I have peace now. Upon killing the flesh with all it's worries, stresses, and anxieties, I may walk in the Spirit. But it must be death in one and life in the other. Oh, may it be that we would always remember to continually put to death the deeds of the flesh! It's not a one time thing, but a constant discipline.

The Lord's will be done -- now, in two hours when I have this interview, tomorrow, next week, next decade, and forevermore!

Embracing Guilt and Shame

2010-04-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

Recently, a pastor at church posted a video-question on Facebook that asked people to comment on the reasons that we give for not confessing our sins. As I read through some of the comments, there was a recurring theme: guilt and shame cause our failure to confess our sins.

I decided to comment as well, but ommitted these two things in my response. Here's why... When I think about guilt and shame, I am first confronted with their definitions and then with their implications. Guilt, by definition, is the just conviction of transgressing a law. Shame goes a step further: not only does it embrace the guilt of breaking the law, but it also concedes that a particular party was offended, in this case God Himself. Whenever someone admits to doing something especially grievous (which is essentially confession), they usually say, "I'm ashamed," rather than "I'm guilty." The implications of guilt and shame are important, but only to an extent. They both seem to be a sign pointing to something more important, in fact, they are the means by which God reveals to us the gravity of our sinfulness and the necessity for our repentance, which begins by confession. In the same way that a burn on the hand indicates that the thing touched is fiercely hot, shame and guilt are the very feelings that our souls manifest in order to cope with the exceeding sinfulness that we battle against in the midst of a war being waged between the sinful nature and the nature that is being redeemed. Yet some would say that shame and guilt are hindrances to confession!

One person actually said that guilt and shame are crippling to us, which may be true for people who don't fully understand the benefits that guilt and shame can effect in our souls. Are they not actually spiritual warnings acting in us as healthy evidence that our consciences are not friendly with sin? If we so easily default to the cop-out of guilt and shame as the reasons for our lack of confession, the blame lies outside of ourselves, residing with these two intangibles, thereby essentially releasing us of any real responsibility. The thing to which these signs point, that is, the root of a failure to confess our sins is more simple than we may think, which may in reality bring more conviction, more guilt, more shame, and more personal responsibility within us, which is were the blame must lie.

The true reason for our failure to confess our sins is sin itself! Because of our sinful nature, our carnal desires are wholly enslaved to that sin, resulting in a will that is chained to sinful actions, namely concealing the very sin that torments us. Guilt and shame expose the sin within us, that we may confess and be cleansed. Therefore, guilt and shame are not agents of sickness that cause us to be spiritual paraplegics, but rather, tools of God that bring us to a place of desperation that would bring ultimate healing. In reality, though, for those of us who refuse to confess, sin itself takes us to a place of willing disobedience that would rather conceal sin and be tormented rather than reveal sin by confession that would have eternal cleansing effect on our everlasting souls through repentance.

So the root of our unwillingness to confess our sins ultimately boils down to the nature we've inherited from Adam, a corrupt nature that would persuade us to abdicate our own responsibility for sin, instead blaming things outside ourselves so that we never actually have to deal with confession. And if we never actually deal with the root of the issue, we'll only be producing rotten fruit.

For me, the message is simple: "MAN UP! Take responsibility for your sin, and kill it!" This is a war we're fighting here, and not one for the timid or weak (2 Timothy 1:7). Like John Owen said over 350 years ago, "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." For centuries, men have searched for ways to misplace their due blame. It is far past the time of blaming anything other than ourselves for our sin, embracing the guilt and shame that comes with it, that we may find ourselves being led by the grace of God to the freeing power of confession, the beginning of repentance. Then, by the same kindness of God that leads us to repentance, we may attain an eternal inheritance kept in heaven for us where there will be no condemnation ever again!

God's Refusal to Leave Us Alone: Deliverance

2010-04-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

This follow-up post from the previous one stems from some observations I've recently made about myself and others, along with some insightful help from a brilliant godly Puritan that died 327 years ago:

The hardening [by the deceitfulness of sin, see Hebrews 3:12-13] is to the utmost, — utter obduration; sin tends to it, and every distemper and lust will make at least some progress towards it. Thou that wast tender, and didst use to melt under the word, under afflictions, wilt grow as some have profanely spoken, “sermon-proof and sickness-proof.” Thou that didst tremble at the presence of God, thoughts of death, and appearance before him, when thou hadst more assurance of his love than now thou hast, shalt have a stoutness upon thy spirit not to be moved by these things. Thy soul and thy sin shall be spoken of and spoken to, and thou shalt not be at all concerned, but shalt be able to pass over duties, praying, hearing, reading, and thy heart not in the least affected. Sin will grow a light thing to thee; thou wilt pass it by as a thing of nought; this it will grow to. And what will be the end of such a condition? Can a sadder thing befall thee? Is it not enough to make any heart to tremble, to think of being brought into that estate wherein he should have slight thoughts of sin? Slight thoughts of grace, of mercy, of the blood of Christ, of the law, heaven, and hell, come all in at the same season. Take heed, this is that thy lust is working towards, — the hardening of the heart, searing of the conscience, blinding of the mind, stupefying of the affections, and deceiving of the whole soul.

-John Owen, excerpted from Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers

Recently, I was curious to look back through my journals from the past several years in order to assess some evidence of my spiritual journey during that time. During the two years I spent living in Morocco, I wrote 111 pages of grace-filled, soul-changing, mind-enriching journal entries. For these past 2.5+ years since returning to the U.S., I have written only 40 pages, most of which are my wrestlings with myself and my sin. It seems like I have been behaving as a rebellious young boy, perhaps upset with my heavenly Father for one reason or another. As I think on this small statistic, I am greatly saddened by my neglect. What's worse, is that if I really think about these things, I might actually find that my sin has become exceedingly sinful, plundering my heart in its utmost affection for God. There has been this haunting suspicion in my heart that I have tried too hard to ignore, for the sake of rationalizing my idle behavior, that my heart has grown hard and cold, foremost toward God and consequentially toward virtually everyone around me. Thus, that deceitfulness of sin that Owen so eloquently described has subtly crept in, through my idle neglect, so that my heart has gradually become hardened to the things of God that He gives to us in this life to enjoy. Is it such a wonder to me why my life has seemed inconsequential for the sake of eternity! It's because it has for the most part, except for some supernatural work of the grace of God.

There is no new sin that is not common to man. I have seen firsthand instances of people close to me to whom this has happened. More recently, though, there have been students of mine, three in particular at present, going through this very thing. If we, as Christians, don't mortify our sin daily as Owen puts it, then it will overtake us, proving our faith to be a fraud. He says, "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." In the same way that John Piper put it, we must wage war -- we are either fighting against our sin with the help of God, or are at peace with it thereby becoming an enemy of God.

So today, in remembrance of the day when Jesus was crucified, let us meditate on this:

...but the Lord delivers him out of them all."
Psalm 34:19b

The Lord delivers the righteous man from his promised affliction. Many evils assail the righteous and many wicked deeds accompany his carnal existence, yet his righteousness is not found there. Absent from all worldly deeds, his righteousness is stored up for him in heave as Christ Himself embodies it, preserved by the all-sufficient power of the Holy Spirit. It is from this man that deliverance comes. The embodiment of righteousness, namely Jesus Himself, is also the one true deliverer for those whose righteousness is held to the cross with the nails that pierced his hands and feet. If it were not for this sinless man who died on the cross, this Jesus whose divine authority would conquer the destruction reserved for all sinful men in death, there would be an eternity of despair for the soul of every man.

Every animal killed in the name of God, every sacrifice consecrated to the Lord, every offering burnt as a pleasing fragrance, and every prayer mentioned to the Almighty are but echoes of the true shout of Christ spanning the chasm of affliction that endangers every man's soul. Jesus is to us a friend, a help, a teacher, and a guide, but let us remind ourselves that he is our DELIVERANCE! Oh, to grace how great a debtor are we constrained to be!

So then those of us whose hearts have grown cold and hard, have hope, bound up with our Savior who, through faith, delivers us from all our affliction past, present, and yet to come. Were it not for the promise of redemption found in Him, my station as husband, father, son, brother, worker, worshiper, and saint would be vanquished by the otherwise overwhelming power of sin in my life. But as it is, God sees fit to look on Him and pardon me -- for the sake of His glory and my joy. May that be a greater reality day by day, as the coldness and hardness of my heart turns to warm, satisfying affection as it is inclined to our God!

God's Refusal to Leave Us Alone: Affliction

2010-03-17T15:24:00.001-07:00

I must say that I thought of the following things while meditating on the Scriptures and following sermon excerpts from John Piper:

Until you believe that life is war - that the stakes are your soul - you will probably just play at Christianity with no bloodearnestness and no vigilance and no passion and no wartime mindset. If that is where you are this morning, your position is very precarious. The enemy has lulled you into sleep or into a peacetime mentality, as if nothing serious is at stake. And God, in his mercy, has you here this morning, and had this sermon appointed to wake you up, and put you on a wartime footing.... There is a mean, violent streak in the true Christian life! But violence against whom, or what? Not other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in us that would be violent to other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in our own selves that would make peace with our own sin and settle in with a peacetime mentality. It's a violence against all lust in ourselves, and enslaving desires for food or caffeine or sugar or chocolate or alcohol or pornography or money or the praise of men and the approval of others or power or fame. It's violence against the impulses in our own soul toward racism and sluggish indifference to injustice and poverty and abortion. Christianity is not a settle-in-and-live-at-peace-with-this-world-the-way-it-is kind of religion. If by the Spirit you kill the deeds of your own body, you will live. Christianity is war. On our own sinful impulses.

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous..." Psalm 34:19a

Different environments produce different afflictions. Dangerous places yield the earnest affliction of physical threat. Safe places yield the subtle affliction of complacency. Easy and comfortable places yield the creeping affliction of intellectual numbness. Oppressive climates yield the overbearing affliction of spiritual, social, emotional, or physical torment. The place of erudition yields the tempting affliction of academic pride. Countless and varied are the afflictions that assail the Christian soul. In such a twisted and broken world, our enemy never rests, using all manner of weapon to nullify the work of the Redeemer in our hearts and weaken the work of the Holy Spirit in our daily lives. Not only that, but a constant torment of a battle within rages ceaselessly. That which is divine seeks to conquer the worldly desires of man, while that which is fleshly desires to take back its original possession.

Oh, for grace to endure such endless battle! The promised, precious land of the soul is at stake, no less, to be won by the victor! Yet the victory is already assigned to Almighty God, else there would be no use for affliction whatsoever. The affliction would be no torment to the wicked, but a delight and pleasure to him. His folly is for him his wage and eternal destruction his recompense from an all-conquering God, sufficient in His justice among men. However peculiar it may be, these various afflictions are reserved, according to God's perfect measure, for those who are righteous. If it were to be any other way, the fool would be always left to his own pleasures, at home in this world and satisfied by his own wickedness, which is, no doubt, not an affliction at all to him. Sin becomes exceedingly sinful only when it is seen to be sin! It is not until the repentant man meet his Savior that his wicked comforts turn to affliction.

It would be, as the Preacher says in Ecclesiastes, "like a chasing after the wind" to attempt to fully understand the mystery of the Providence of God in afflicting the most righteous of men. But in His goodness, the Ruler of the Universe sees fit to chastise his chosen ones in every season of life, that they may be refined into His own redeemed image from one degree of glory to another. It is only left up to them to recognize and acknowledge the affliction as His divine, sovereign, loving care for us as our Father.

Upon re-reading these thoughts, I am compelled to remember my friends in Morocco, who have recently suffered God-ordained affliction that will work for their eternal good. We here in the safe arms of American freedoms are unable to grasp the reality of many persecutions and injustices that happen worldwide, like this one. Yet this is not a surprise to the Almighty, Omniscient God of the Universe who orchestrates all things according to His perfect purposes.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known"
(1 Corinthians 13:12).

Half a Year

2010-02-12T10:00:00.001-08:00

I can't believe we've had this little angel for half a year already! When we started this journey we had no idea what a change we were in for, but it has been among the best changes of our lives. We went from a couple to a family, from a husband and wife to a daddy and mommy who have an amazing little daughter that we just can't get enough of. She is smothered in love an affection and she takes all the hugs, kisses, and cuddles that we can give. What a joy it is to be Phoebe's parents!

Happy 6-month birthday Phoebe!!

My heart grows fonder...

2010-01-31T08:06:00.000-08:00

I've heard the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" many times. I didn't always agree with it. For example when I was absent from school, my heart did not grow fonder (my former students will like that). But at this point in my life it is true beyond measure. I've been in Fort Wayne, IN for a few days and have enjoyed my time with friends and family so much, but in my heart there is a constant ache. Adam and I have been friends for several years and married for over two years, and in that time my affections have grown more than I ever thought possible for another person on this earth. He has taught me so much, loved me through some extremely difficult times, led me very well, and been more adoring than any husband ought. I miss him and my heart grows fonder by the moment.

(I will give a full update on my time here when I get back.)

A bit of a rant...

2010-01-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

When did it become the norm to publicly mock the leader of our country? It's something that has really annoyed me over the past few years, first with the former President Bush jokes and now with President Obama. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Obama bin lyin'" and then we got an e-mail urging us to watch a Fox News program proving that PRESIDENT Obama is not really an American citizen...(just as a side note for anyone who may have missed social studies classes: a person can NOT become a president without being a citizen... they check that stuff out pretty well) Seriously? When did that become okay? I understand disagreeing with policy. I understand not agreeing with the ideals of an individual, and taking positive steps to change policy or influence one's representatives to make a change. That is totally acceptable. But when did people go from respectful disagreement to unintelligent rambling? I started thinking that it was because people just didn't know any better, but then it struck me that the "me" culture we've created has somehow given people the idea that if they are not happy with something, that thing should change, and the means of achieving that change don't really matter.

What's worse is when Christians take part in this sort of negativity (and I am in NO way implying that ALL Christians do this). The first amendment right to freedom of speech does NOT negate our responsibility to tame our tongue (James 3). It does not negate our responsibility to pray for our leaders because God himself has put them in their positions (Romans 13:1 -- "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God."). There is no 'except when' in those passages. The Bible does not say: be subject to your leader except when he/she has a different view on abortion, economic policy, or any other phrase you want to add in. And it does not negate our responsibility to love and be known by our love (John 13:34 -- "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."). We are to love ALL, not just whom we choose! And what is love? "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends" (1 Corinthians 13).

It is appalling to me that people question President Obama's religion, because his father came from another continent or another religion (he was a Muslim who became an atheist)... Would one question that I am a Protestant on the basis that my family is Catholic? Would one question that a convert from Buddhism is a Christian because his/her family is Buddhist? I doubt it. So maybe our country hasn't come as far as we'd like to think. Maybe it really does matter that his last name is different that any other last name of any other president in history. Maybe it really does matter that he is biracial. Maybe it really does matter. Would it matter if our president were in fact a Muslim, a Buddhist, or an atheist? Would it? What is it that we think would happen if he (or another future president) were a Muslim? I know many Muslims and adore each one of them, many are among those I have been closest to in my life. Is it that our country was founded on the principles of Christianity that we feel we must have a Christian leader? Perhaps. Does it really matter if he/she is a Christian? Remember that the president doesn't have nearly the power some people would like to make him out to have. That's why we have three branches of government that have checks and balances on each other. Our former president was a Christian, but openly admitted that he was not a literalist when it came to the Bible, but people did not question his faith. In fact, former President Bush never mentioned Jesus, Christ etc. during his speeches as president (that I could find), yet President Obama has mentioned Jesus, Christ, Messiah etc. several times in his first year as president. I'm not Bush bashing here, merely pointing out that people didn't question Bush's faith, yet make a public spectacle of questioning Obama's, when his actions/words do not warrant it.

Interviewer Cynthia McFadden asked Bush if the Bible was literally true:

"You know. Probably not. ... No, I'm not a literalist, but I think you can learn a lot from it, but I do think that the New Testament for example is ... has got ... You know, the important lesson is 'God sent a son,"' Bush said.

"It is hard for me to justify or prove the mystery of the Almighty in my life," he said. "All I can just tell you is that I got back into religion and I quit drinking shortly thereafter and I asked for help. ... I was a one-step program guy."

The president also said that he prays to the same God as those with different religious beliefs.

"I do believe there is an almighty that is broad and big enough and loving enough that can encompass a lot of people," Bush said.

A couple of side notes:
1 - During the presidential campaign in 1960 (Kennedy vs. Nixon) many were very worried because JFK was Catholic. They feared that the Pope and Italy would control our government through him, fears that were totally unfounded.

2 - It seems that what some in our country want is a monarchy where there is a king, who subsequently is the religious leader. However, when the founders of this country came, they were trying to escape just that, which is why they wanted the separation of church and state.

In the end, I wish that people who have the freedoms that our country affords us would use them well. You need not agree with everything the president does or says, in fact you should not. But your reaction to those things you disagree with speaks volumes of you as a person and what you believe in.

OK, I'll get off my soap box and get back to packing.

A tiny gift.

2010-01-25T13:25:00.001-08:00

I realize it has been some time since either Adam or I posted on our blog. In our defense, we did have a baby, albeit a while back. I'm hoping to be a more regular blogger now that Phoebe is on somewhat of a (dare I say the word...) schedule. As the title of my post suggests this will be about that little girl of ours.

Phoebe Bithiah Normand was born on August 11, 2009 at 3:50 in the afternoon. She was a healthy 8 pounds exactly and 19.25 inches long. I had a difficult pregnancy complete with almost 40 weeks of nausea and vomiting, several trips to the ER for migraines and dehydration, and preeclampsia. Of course it was ALL worth it. We were scheduled for an induction on the 10th because of the preeclampsia and the fact that we were overdue. Our little girl decided she didn't want to come out the traditional way and we were wheeled in for a c-section at around 3:30 on the 11th. It was a good thing we did because she was hanging out in my ribs and wasn't about to come down to be born. After four days in the hospital we came home. I can't explain the feeling of walking out of the hospital with your first tiny baby. All the professionals stay at the hospital and they let you walk out, in all your inexperience, with a little helpless creature. Yikes.

After the first few weeks of sleeplessness and realizing how little we knew about this thing called parenting, we started to settle into a "routine" of not have a routine. Phoebe dropped weight in the hospital (as is normal), and was down to 7 pounds when we left which prompted us to need to bottle feed. As difficult a decision as that was, it was best for her. She started gaining as soon as we put her on soy formula and was a MUCH happier little girl.

We are almost 6 months into her life and she is an absolute joy. She's a great eater and sleeper and has such a fun personality. She's learning new things all the time and loves to observe people and nature. She and I are together pretty much all the time and I'm wondering what it was that I ever did before she came along. I find that I'd much rather buy things for her than for me, I'd rather spend time watching her play than painting my nails or doing my hair, I'd rather make her baby food and clean her bottles than watch TV, and I'd rather read books like This is my Kitten than books for me. It's an odd thing to be transformed by someone so tiny and without words or tangible rewards, but it's the third most amazing thing yet, second only to knowing Christ and marrying Adam.

What a gift. And a gift I never even realized I wanted.

"When Sorrows Like Sea Billows Roll..."

2009-10-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

From Charles Spurgeon:

There is not a place which a believer walks in--which is free from snares. Behind every tree--is the tempter with his barbed arrow! Behind every bush--is the roaring lion, the Devil, your great enemy, prowling around, looking for some victim to devour! Under every piece of grass--hides the deadly adder!

This present world is the battlefield; Heaven is a place of complete victory and glorious triumph.

This present world is the land of the sword and the spear; Heaven is the land of the wreath and the crown.

This present world is the land of the garment rolled in blood and the dust of the fight; Heaven is the land of the trumpet's joyful sound--the place of the white robe and of the shout of conquest.

Oh, what a thrill of joy shall shoot through the hearts of all the redeemed, when their conquests shall be complete; when death itself, the last of foes, shall be slain; when Satan shall be dragged captive at the chariot wheels of Christ; when He shall have overthrown sin and trampled corruption as the mire of the streets; when the great shout of universal victory shall rise from the hearts of all the redeemed!

"He will remove all of their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. For the old world and its evils are gone forever!"
Revelation 21:4

From Theodore Cuyler:

"As your days--so shall your strength be."
Deuteronomy 33:25

Sufficient to each day are the duties
to be done--and the trials to be endured.

God never built a Christian strong enough to
carry today's duties and tomorrow's anxieties
piled on the top of them.

"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow
will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is
enough for today."
Matthew 6:34

Ah, how this world can weigh down the most joyous of hearts! With a mere twist of the imagination here and a temptation of wickedness there, we find ourselves on the brink of despair. Yet hope remains. With a heavy heart, a burdensome load, we look heavenward to a beautiful inheritance above! Our toil and striving, our trials and pains, seem so near when the glory of our eternity seems so far. "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?"

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" cried our Lord. With the entire load of sin and despair weighing down the most heavenly of hearts, the edge of despair loomed nearer to him than the reward he would soon receive. Yet the reality of God's plan of redemption was by no means dependent on anyone's current mood or circumstance, even Jesus'. This too, even for Jesus, was only a temporary and light affliction (albeit infinitely more burdensome and painful than anything any other man would ever or will ever endure) compared to the vast riches that would await him next to his Father in heaven.

Hebrews 12:1-2
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Romans 5:1-5
1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

All is well until something changes. And sometimes the converse is true: when something changes, all becomes well. Sounds simple, and it is. But sometimes the change isn't so simple. For me, living overseas in an Islamic country was a massive change. And it was a complicated change: geographically, emotionally, spiritually, and culturally, among others. Coming back to the U.S. was also a drastic change after being overseas for two years. Getting married was a change. And parenthood, thus far, has proven to be the most complex, difficult change in my life. Not only was my wife's pregnancy and delivery extremely difficult, but learning how to be a good father and husband at the same time is a great challenge. It cannot be overstated how significant it is for a man to be a real father and a woman to be a real mother. The book of Proverbs has an abundance of advice on this matter, indicating that without solid parents, children will lead lives of strife and heartache, if not total destruction. And, far too often it seems, bad parents beget bad parents.

Lately especially, I have been praising God for being such a great Father to me. Even though my dad and I have a great relationship these days, it wasn't always that way. When he ruined his marriage with my mom, he sealed his fate as one of those absentee fathers whose boys would likely end up having severe commitment issues, usually involving a lot of anger and resentment. Apart from the sovereign grace of God, both my earthly father and I would have become mere insignificant statistics in a world in which broken families are more common than healthy ones. But the reality is, God has saved us both from that, and has been showing me and teaching me many things lately about being a good father, and a good husband to my wonderful, irreplaceable wife.

It's been really hard lately, but I'm thankful that God has replaced my heart of stone with a malleable heart of flesh that can be teachable and willing to obey his counsel. May the Fruit of the Spirit grow bountifully in my life, replacing the deeds of my flesh that once ruled me as a slave:

Galatians 5:16-25
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

So for those of us who are called to endure, let us take heart and do so, by the grace of God. Not all are called to such an honor. Some are simply breathing to death, awaiting their burial in some vacant plot of land with a forgotten headstone. But others have been secured as a prize possession to suffer as their Savior did so that they may also reign as he does. Blessed be the name of the Lord, and blessed are the saints in the land, who by his sovereign hand have been called out of darkness into light so that they may shine brightly in the darkness and in the midst of great suffering and pain; they are the excellent ones in whom is all God's delight. May we continue to persevere in the grace of God, to the praise of his magnificent name!

"A Big Heart," a Short Narrative Biography of a Man I Never Really Knew

2009-08-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

In the previous post, I mentioned that my Uncle Danny died. I find it unfortunate to me that I was never afforded the opportunity to get to know the man well. All I remember are the childhood memories of hunting for arrowheads in the Texas Hill Country or playing baseball in the yard or always going to my cousins' house that never really seemed to be quite finished with missing doors and drywall. I remember a gruff carpenter with a lip full of snuff, often exiled in his workshop. Yes, a carpenter, and a good one at that. But I never actually knew the man. I can only regret that I was just a kid at the time. I haven't seen my uncle in over fifteen years and my only hope is that I will see him again someday in a place that has eased his pain and given him great peaceful rejoicing in its stead.

Through the eyes of an onlooker whose desire it was to know the man even just a little, the service yesterday was moving and inspirational, a true memorial and celebration of the life of a man with a "big heart," as friends closest to him would repeatedly describe. Even though I am unable to speak of the man from personal experience, it was good to hear others. His youngest son, my cousin Joe, described to the crowd of mishmashed souls on varied journeys in life, that his father was a man that deeply cared for people, his family in particular. My mother then rose to the podium to describe a few things that only Danny would do in his own unique way before reading a letter from another uncle of mine who wasn't able to be there. My Uncle Kevin described Danny's friendship as an everlasting bond that would always beckon his visit when traveling south to Texas. Then ensued a flood of tears from friends who will miss this man who had such a big heart despite his own personal demons about which he would tell others "you can't understand." "He always had a smile and a hug for me," a friend would say. Another chimed in, "We would just sit and talk for hours and he would tell me how proud of his kids he was, while asking me about mine." The pastor himself, who had known Danny for more than a decade, told a story about one rainy morning in which a van full of free lunches were to be handed out down the street. Danny ran up to grab a lunch for himself and a blanket not for himself but for another lady who was getting likewise soaked in the downpour. This was typical with Danny, always sharing of himself and his time so that others would feel loved. The stories continued for a while longer, from more friends for whom Danny was one of the few friends they could really talk to, to family members who had unique memories of Danny from previous years, to more recent memories from family members, to other friends who only had tears to offer in the place of words. The man will be well missed. From these stories, I am thankful that I can miss him well also.

In addition to the vastness of his heart and his willingness to show love to so many people, I found, in the stories told, that a very real sense of humility was a big part of this man's life. The life that he lived, the demons that he fought and the lifestyle that he lived, were very real humbling experiences that seemed to transform Danny into someone who truly appreciated the beautiful things that he did have, for their own sake. "A gift," he once said, "are the hands that God gave me to make beautiful things." In the likeness of the greatest man who ever walked the earth, Danny carved masterpieces from wood and stone. Arrowheads, moldings in Louisiana plantation mansions, simple boxes for baseball card collections, houses that would soon become homes, and any number of other carvings became the expression of an inward beauty that few who really knew him could ignore. When asked how he was doing, Danny would often reflect, "Progress but not perfection," while clinging to a mustard seed-sized faith in God that he had hoped would ease his heart along the journey. He seemed to always have this sort of tension in his life: a battle not against flesh and blood...

The debate between belief and unbelief is by no means a debate between himself who believes and another who disbelieves. It is also in large part a debate within himself, who both believes and disbelieves, and who must ever continue to pray humbly, 'Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief.'"
-John Baillie

To put it differently in the context of the grace of God that enables a humble faith like this, consider the following four line poem by Pastor John Piper:

"Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
Nor flight from all distress, but this:
The grace that orders our trouble and pain,
And then, in the darkness, is there to sustain."

This may very well be the essence of a life like Danny's. Although there was no shortage of distress and trouble, yet through the evidence of his open and loving heart, it is perhaps God's enduring grace that sustained him throughout, even until the end.

Through the hearing of all of these stories from friends and family, a piecewise biography of this man has served him well, for although his existence could have disappeared into an obscure dark place in this harsh world, it certainly did not. It cannot. Instead, the heartfelt outpourings of fondness and affection for this man enlivened and celebrated his existence for all who cared about him to see. It is all the more clear to me how the psalmist felt when he wrote, "Those who sow in tears will reap a harvest of joy."

For Daniel Jandle:
May you rest in true peace, our friend, absent from all anguish and pain and sorrow. A life celebrated is a life well lived. May your progress now bear the fruit of perfection.

There is a Love that Never Forsakes

2009-08-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, my uncle died. He had been around a while, but I haven't seen him since I can remember. He and my aunt have been divorced for about fifteen years I guess, but she's always loved him. Through all of the alcoholism and drugs, abandonment and prison time, she never gave up on him. Never. Quite often, my aunt would invite him over and many times let him sleep under the roof of her home because he didn't have anywhere else to go. Despite the divorce long ago, she's very distraught with his departure because, as she told my mom, "You know, we've always been connected." To me, that's something truly peculiar, perfectly divine. I can appreciate something like that: a thing that can endure any number of hardships and difficulties, yet remain intact and transcendent throughout.

A while back, I posted my thoughts of love being like a chisel. I wonder, especially in this context, if love might also be like a furnace. In the same way that gold is melted down by the fire in order to be purified, perhaps lasting love can do the same. It's for the same purpose that a chisel shapes the heart, yet the fire doesn't just chip off the rough edges, it removes everything that is impure. That "connection" isn't just some cosmic fate intervening in the lives of two people. That is the expression of our hearts that God has designed, the manifestation of love.

In so many weddings, I think 1 Corinthians 13 is often overused and sometimes trivialized. If you're unfamiliar, it's the quintessential passage in the Bible that depicts the type of love that God desires for us to both give and receive. Along with a list of attributes, the passage describes the importance of love, that it is the greatest thing that people can express to each other. At one point, Paul says that "love never ends." I'm sure my aunt can attest to that.

During the very last moments of Jesus' life on the cross, he uttered some words that may seem impossible to believe: "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (see Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34). How could the Father forsake the Son? Aren't they essentially one in the same, both God? It would seem an impossibility, a mystery of mysteries. Yet, if we realize that Jesus is actually referring to Psalm 22, our mystery may become less of one, and we may learn a little about this "connection" that bound my aunt and uncle together, despite so many things that insisted on breaking them apart.

Psalm 22
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
and by night, but I find no rest.

3 Yet you are holy,
enthroned on the praises of Israel.
4 In you our fathers trusted;
they trusted, and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried and were rescued;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by mankind and despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me;
they make mouths at me; they wag their heads;
8 “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him;
let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”

9 Yet you are he who took me from the womb;
you made me trust you at my mother's breasts.
10 On you was I cast from my birth,
and from my mother's womb you have been my God.
11 Be not far from me,
for trouble is near,
and there is none to help.

12 Many bulls encompass me;
strong bulls of Bashan surround me;
13 they open wide their mouths at me,
like a ravening and roaring lion.

14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
it is melted within my breast;
15 my strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to my jaws;
you lay me in the dust of death.

16 For dogs encompass me;
a company of evildoers encircles me;
they have pierced my hands and feet—
17 I can count all my bones—
they stare and gloat over me;
18 they divide my garments among them,
and for my clothing they cast lots.

19 But you, O Lord, do not be far off!
O you my help, come quickly to my aid!
20 Deliver my soul from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dog!
21 Save me from the mouth of the lion!
You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen!

22 I will tell of your name to my brothers;
in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:
23 You who fear the Lord, praise him!
All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him,
and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or abhorred
the affliction of the afflicted,
and he has not hidden his face from him,
but has heard, when he cried to him.

25 From you comes my praise in the great congregation;
my vows I will perform before those who fear him.
26 The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied;
those who seek him shall praise the Lord!
May your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth shall remember
and turn to the Lord,
and all the families of the nations
shall worship before you.
28 For kingship belongs to the Lord,
and he rules over the nations.

29 All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship;
before him shall bow all who go down to the dust,
even the one who could not keep himself alive.
30 Posterity shall serve him;
it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation;
31 they shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn,
that he has done it.

What an interesting passage! David, an ancestor of Jesus, experienced a similar, albeit much less, type of hopelessness as Jesus experienced on the cross. This is the very reason Jesus quotes it with his last few breaths. As we read this section of Scripture, it alternates from complete desperation to God's transcendent love that rescued his people, back to utter hopelessness and self-loathing, and then back again to God's patience in deliverance. We see this several times, finally ending in an abode of faith and hope. Yet as Paul described in 1 Corinthians 13, the greatest of these is love. Verse 24 in Psalm 22 says, "For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him." Although strained at moments, they were connected.

I thank God for my aunt and uncle. I am sad to see that they are torn and that he is gone after such a difficult journey of life, but I praise God for their picture of a love that doesn't forsake.

"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Needless Anxiety

2009-07-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

Anxiety is the fear, dread, or anticipation that something undesirable, bad, or awful will or can happen to us. It is the feeling that we are vulnerable and that we are not safe. When we are anxious, we expect and anticipate that something bad is about to happen or could happen even if we are not aware of what it is that we anticipate. Sometimes our anxiety has a specific focus. We fear something specific, such as being trapped in an elevator or falling from a height. At other times we are not able to identify the precipitant or immediate cause of our anxiety. We have a general feeling of being at risk or vulnerable or we might have a sense of fear but not be fully aware of what it is that we fear. The nature of the potential harm we dread is often not physical in nature such as an injury or death that might occur from falling from a height. Instead we might fear emotional harm or loss of sense of self, rejection, or disapproval. The expectation of harm of any kind can provoke anxiety.
(from The Essence and Nature of Anxiety)

It seems that our culture is inundated with excessive, albeit media-inflamed, propaganda that instills fear in our hearts, so that anxiety becomes a part of everyday life for so many people. With the exception of a chemical or neurological imbalance, the greatest tragedy is that this type of lifestyle can be avoided. People become so easily worried about the cares of life: finances or possessions, health or schooling, careers or occupations. Of course, these things are worth considering when life happens, but I wonder if an overemphasis on these things not only lessens our quality of life, but the length as well. There is an increasing trend of excess in American culture. We buy things we don't need with money we don't have. We clutter our lives with needless activities in order to entertain ourselves because silence and solitude have become increasingly awkward or uncomfortable. We create background noise so that we don't have to really think about the most essential things of our lives. With all these things in place as the norm in our society, it is no wonder that we are anxious. Consequently, in the multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry, there are not only over the counter anxiety medications, but at least a couple dozen prescription medications that aim to reduce anxiety or lessen the effects of chronic depression. There exist entire organizations and websites, like this one completely dedicated to this end. Through such organizations, a person can access information about anxiety drugs like Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac, Valium, Xanax, and Zoloft, among many others, in order to ease their pain. But what is the cost of all this? Are there other drugs that a person should take in order to offset the side effects of these? How far are we willing to go to ease our anxiety? Is it really supposed to be like this?

As a result of our increased anxiety and propensity to worry about so many things, we have become defenseless in our ability to live courageous, confident lives as God intended.

[Because of your faith] I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:6-7 (paraphrase)

So does this mean that those who have faith never worry or never become anxious? Obviously not. Personally, I have wrestled with my own tendency to worry this summer. With a baby on the way and an income of less than half of last year's, my mind often wanders into the abyss of worry. How will I pay for health insurance for my wife and daughter? How will they be able to get to the medical appointments when I have our only car at work with me? How will we continue to pay off our debts? These questions easily creep into my consciousness as I think about the future. All of these questions create anxiety within me which is the manifestation of fear, the paranoia of my life becoming a "worst case scenario".

But then I'm reminded, as Paul encourages Timothy (see above), that God is a good Father to us, desirous to give us His best gifts (Matthew 7:11).

So here's a gift. A truck like this one is a perfect example of a gift that God gives to those for whom faith is their anchor. Through God's prompting and enablement, a coworker of mine at my new job has decided to sign the title of a 2001 Ford Explorer Sport Trac truck over to me, free of charge. Wow. Now, an expectation of a material gift like this is beside the point. The point is this: that God is in control of all things. He sustains all things in the depth of their being and has the ability to provide any necessity to any thing that needs something. For me, it is a truck. For someone else, it may be relief from a headache or healing from cancer or a parking spot closer to the store because of a cast on a leg. For plants, it's sunlight and water. You get the idea. Regardless of our perceived magnitude of the need, God has the ability and desire to meet that need.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Matthew 6:25-34

I cannot imagine what my life would be like without faith that God Himself would provide for my every need. It may not always look like the provision I expect, but it is always the provision I need. I can only venture to say that without faith, my life would be filled with anxiety medication, for we are not meant to live this life alone, dependent on our own ability to satisfy our every need. In every case, somehow we'll be found lacking.

I've never really liked the cliche, "Let go and let God." Personally, I just think it's corny. I think the let go part is okay (see cartoon above), but to let God is a very arrogant thing for us to say, as if God needs our permission to sovereignly and lovingly rule our lives. I prefer:

"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

and

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word."
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

and

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
1 Peter 5:6-11

So my prayer for myself, my family, and all those for whom God alone is their hope is this: May our complete willingness to relinquish the needs of our lives prove to deepen our trust in God, the Provider of all our needs, lest needless anxiety be our demise. Amen.

So Many Considerations...

2009-06-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

As Father's Day has just passed, the reality of parenthood draws near. In about six weeks, there will be another Normand in our family with the arrival of our daughter Phoebe. For the past eight months, Kattie and I have been searching out knowledge about good, biblical parenting, for that is where our responsibility lies. We have sought counsel in the Scriptures, joined a group of like-minded, believing parents at church whose desires are like ours, purchased several books ranging from childbirth and development to education to spiritual formation, talked to other wise friends who are likewise involved parents, all the while asking God to intervene in our lives throughout so that we can, by his grace alone, be effective parents who "raise our children in the way they should go." But we've also realized that we can never know enough. We will never arrive to a place that deems us perfect parents.

As I personally find myself inherently weak and fragile as a fallen man, the requirement for forgiveness and reconciliation to God is a daily necessity. It reaches far beyond a mere reading of a small piece of Scripture every morning in hopes that it will sustain me throughout a day potentially filled with fierce attempts to destroy my soul. The battles are mighty ones, worthy of a valiant fight. In the midst of all that goes on in the workplace, all the relationships that require my energy in the homeplace, and all the desires that God has for me out in the rest of the world, I find that it often clouds the simplicity of the Gospel. These are eternal things to which God has entrusted us, so I realize that I must continually be diligent to

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test. But we pray to God that you may not do wrong—not that we may appear to have met the test, but that you may do what is right, though we may seem to have failed. For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for."
2 Corinthians 13:5-9

The more I live, the more I realize that this restoration that requires much prayer is something that I need each day. In order for me to be the man that God desires me to be, there must be a purging of the world that is in me, while the restoring reconciliation of the Gospel powerfully transforms me from day to day. Far too often, men become statistics because

"...the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful."
Matthew 13:22b

And I am certainly not so naive to think that I am not susceptible to the same kind of worldly distraction that could potentially destroy everything of value in my life. Yet at the same time, my hope is anchored in the Gospel that defines hope. If Jesus can raise a man from the dead, make a blind man to see, release a woman from the bonds of prostitution, turn water into (really good) wine, and walk on water, then he can no doubt keep me as his own brother, a son of the One True God, forever.

Yet my responsibility remains. It remains because it depends - on the unwavering commitment that He has made with me, and those who came before me. Abraham was the "father of many nations." Why? Simply put, God made a covenant with him. And so, as the covenant was made with him, and I am an adopted descendant of his, it follows that I also am under that very covenant. This is why I must "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12), in my marriage, my parenthood, my workplace, my relationships, and my life in general.

"...for it is God who works in me, both to will and to work for his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).

I welcome any sound advice and counsel for my wife and I, especially as we venture into the honorable journey of godly parenting.

Focus. Or Pressing on Through the Storms.

2009-06-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

I like thunderstorms in Texas during the summer. Sometimes, they can be intense in their ability to provoke much anxiety, yet they always pass. Recently, we've had two major ones back-to-back, that threatened tornadic activity. So we kept the news on as long as possible while all four of us, my wife, my mom, my unborn daughter, and myself, huddled up in tiny closet awaiting the passing of the storm. All ended well and without any collateral damage.

In obvious manner, as much as storms are used metaphorically to symbolize various trials in life, I have learned valuable lessons through them. One of my most favorite quotes of all time is from Pastor John Piper, "One of God's gifts to us in suffering is that we are granted to see and experience depths of His Word that a life of ease and comfort would never yield." Most would never consider suffering to be a gift, yet two things are consistently self-evident reminders in life: storms produce a measure of guaranteed suffering (especially to those whose trust is in God) and storms always pass sooner or later.

When I've had to drive through those summer storms in Texas, which is a rare occurrence since I'd rather watch them out on the porch, I always have to take it slow, realize that time will pass and the distance will shorten, and pull over if I must. But I would never quit or give up trying to make my way through the storm. My destination was always on the other side of the storm, whether in the safety of my home or the safety of clear skies. Regardless of my position in the midst of the storm, I always kept one thing in mind: I must keep driving, for my limited vision prevented me from knowing if the storm was 20 square miles large or 20 square yards small. I knew I would break on through to the other side eventually.

I believe God's purpose in storms is to refine the hearts of those who must endure them. When Job lost everything he held precious in his life, he began to understand the destruction that some storms could take away. Yet God never left him to face it alone. Job thought and meditated. He questioned and wondered. He sought counsel from his friends. Throughout the storm, rather than passively absorbing the wrath of the storm while idly wallowing in justifiable self-pity, he pressed on waging war with the storm. He would not go down quietly.

And he learned what God desired to teach him: that the Lord gives and he takes away, but all that is left to do is praise him for being faithful in the midst of the most violent of storms. Throughout the storm, God absolutely never left Job and Job undoubtedly never stopped believing in God. They conversed and debated, but when Job relented to the submission of God's Lordship, it was accomplished. The storm produced within Job a greater dependence on God and faithfulness toward God that would enable him to conquer the storm and be entrusted with more of God's richness.

These same lessons are continually being learned throughout the generations from Noah and Moses, to Job and the Prophets, to the disciples and apostles, all the way down the the "ordinary Joe" who trusts in God today. I have learned this lesson multiple times in the past 8 or so years, but it seems that the storms look a little different each time.

This time, for me, it was my job. It was a very trying situation for me, as I was continually frustrated with my job. The storm began early and lasted for many months, increasing in intensity as time passed. As the temptation to relinquish my desire to communicate with God would also intensify, I found myself muttering small phrases like, "Be here with me, Lord." or "Here I am. Save me!" And hearing replies like, "I am here." and "My grace is sufficient." or "I will never leave you alone." And the most glorious feeling is when, after much time struggling and pressing forward through a storm, you finally gaze upon the clear skies painted with a brilliant rainbow in the distance. God's faithfulness reigns! He gives and he takes away, but all that is left is to praise him for his goodness, even in the midst of the violent storm.

And as it was for Job, when He learned the valuable lesson and surrendered everything to God, the Lord restored his fortunes: Job 42:10 "And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. 11 Then came to him all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before, and ate bread with him in his house. And they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him. And each of them gave him a piece of money and a ring of gold. 12 And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. 13 He had also seven sons and three daughters. 14 And he called the name of the first daughter Jemimah, and the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-happuch. 15 And in all the land there were no women so beautiful as Job's daughters. And their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers. 16 And after this Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, four generations. 17 And Job died, an old man, and full of days."

The clouds have broken into clear skies, for the time being. Yet, I expect only what fortunes God has in store -- he may grant that I have abundance or teach me greater lessons through more storms. Regardless, I will trust in him and rejoice for he is always good!

Thank you, Lord, for you patience with me and for never leaving me alone.

"Accepted" or "Received"?

2009-01-30T03:52:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, while I was working out at the fitness center, I met a young man who pleasantly distracted me. Unfortunately, I was only able to complete about half of my regular workout, but it was worth the conversation that would ensue. There was a fit, attractive young woman also exercising at the fitness center while we were there, so the young man stroke up a conversation with me after completing a set of bench press, "Would you f*** that girl?" I replied, "Nah, man, I'm married." Thus began a 45-minute conversation on love. He talked about how he'd recently gotten his heart broken by a woman whom he had been dating for four years and he was worried that his "game" wasn't good enough to find anyone else. So we began to discuss the difference between infatuation and real love, playing the emotional dating game versus the lifelong commitment of marriage, how good it is to commit to one person, while exploring the depths of what love is. He spoke in relative terms (as is the custom of our culture) and I spoke in absolutes. I told him that Love is a Chisel and a committed act of the will, but he kept insisting that it is merely an emotion, that a person can potentially fall in and out of love at a whim. Somehow the idea of love in our culture has become so romanticized that it has evolved into a fairy tale Chick Flick involving a baby angel in a diaper shooting arrows at unbeknownst strangers, so that they may magically "fall in love." But there's also a chance that this flying meddler might shoot someone else to love you, thereby creating an absolute insecurity of any semblance of commitment. Sure, it's a risk. Sure, it's uncertain. But a person can also be sure that it's worth all the risk and uncertainty. It's a shame that the pop-culture definition of love these days has been so distorted and twisted that we "love" anything, from lamps to tacos to puppies to people. I'm sure God is quite annoyed with what has become of something he intends to be the most valuable intangible that our hearts can ever experience, yet he knew our wickedness would pervert such a precious thing, for it is our nature to commit such travesties.

1 Corinthians 2:6-16
"Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”—

these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ."

Jesus once said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he would lay his life down for his friends." It is a sad condition in which we find ourselves when love becomes selfish. We worry far too much about our "game," our image, our appearance, and how far it can get us. Masks, facades, fakeness. It's what we do. For some of us, it becomes who we are, forbidding anyone to truly know us. But, as it is, many will never know what love is. A person might think he knows what it is, a la Forrest Gump, yet never taste the deepest beauties that lie within.

The most miraculous event that can ever occur in a person's life is the transformation that occurs in the depths of the soul, for the sake of knowing God. Why does this happen? It all goes back to the character of God: He not only knows love and gives love, but God is love. But what is the process by which this transformation happens? So many people will say that they "accepted" the gift of the grace of God and it changed them forever. A few might say that they "received" the gift. Almost everyone will interject that there's no difference in either case, that it's all semantics. I disagree. I think it's more than just words.

Here's my point... There is something out there that everyone wants: happiness. There is only one way to get it. God has the gift that produces happiness in his hand and there are two perceived ways to obtain the gift. Obviously, God knows exactly what creates true lasting happiness within a person, and he is certainly willing to give that gift.

Some would say that it is a gift in a wrapped box that must first be "accepted" and then opened. The acceptance of the gift includes many elements, chief of which is a willingness by the recipient to take the gift. In order to accept a gift, the recipient first takes into account the character of the giver -- is he selfless or is there a hidden selfish agenda for him, does he actually offer a gift that can bring a smile to my face, does he even know what can make me smile, etc. Based on this information, the recipient can choose to reject or trash the gift before it is opened. If the recipient perceives that the giver has pure motives and is concerned about the best interest of someone other than himself, then he might accept the gift willingly and proceed to open it. There is a conscious decision being made both by the giver and the recipient, a synergistic act in which the recipient can actually take partial credit for the benefit of the impact of the gift, since he decided to accept it.

The other side of the coin is when a person "receives" the gift already unwrapped and it clothes him with gladness and transformation, without even a hint of refusal, for it is far more beautiful than any other gift that he has ever been offered. There's no concealment or even a potential for selfish motive on behalf of the giver. Everything is pure, everything is open, everything is good without distortion. The acceptance of the character and the motives of the giver comes first so that the receiving of the gift need not come with a choice. It is a ultimately a passive act for the recipient, while the giver lavishes the goodness of the gift upon him with great joy. Because the giver knows exactly who he himself is and knows exactly who the recipient is and what he needs, this idea is that a monergistic act on the part of the giver creates within the recipient the deepest satisfaction, gladness, and fulfillment imaginable, which is the perfect completion of the recipient's desire to be happy. All credit belongs to the giver while the recipient simply receives the benefit.

To put it all in perspective, the reason God showers his people with grace to believe in him through Jesus is that love is pure as He is pure. He gives the greatest gifts. And we reap the benefits. There's no striving to please God. We don't have to put on our best "game" or use crafty lines to perk God's interest in us. He loves us because He can, because He is love. And He loves us even when we rebel against him, choosing to follow any other kind of fakeness that will never grant us lasting happiness. Like Hosea repeatedly returned to his unfaithful wife Gomer (read the book of Hosea), so God is with us.

Let us enjoy His favor as we receive more and more of His goodness while He accepts us as his own, for He is good! What a precious gift!!

A Speech for the Ages

2009-01-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

The inauguration speech of the 44th President of the United States of America:

‘My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive ... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Does the New Covenant Innately Entitle Ease in Life to Those Under It ?

2009-01-18T06:45:00.000-08:00

The new covenant: what a glorious plan that God has implemented for us! Everything points to it and everything flows from it. Without the realization of Jesus and his story, there is absolutely no hope for anyone, ever. It is the fulfillment of everything leading up to it, the illumination of the ancient shadows of God's promises from generations past. Yet it is also the point to which every future generation points, the only event in history that can actually bring hope to a hopelessly broken soul. It is the inescapable beauty of God's wisdom fulfilled through His own Son, for the sake of His own name and renown, that His own people may have ultimate joy in Him. This is reality. But so is life here on earth.

Lately, it seems like the media has escalated the propaganda of suffering. I have Facebook friends continually posting videos depicting the carnage that is currently taking place in the Gaza region. One day, I viewed a video in which a conservative Jew defends Israel rightly, in the sense that Israel is a people, not a place, and that the warring Israelis are as radical a misrepresentation to Judaism as fundamental Islamic terrorists are to Islam. The next day, I skimmed over a video depicting graphic war images of the typical carnage that happens during any war: dead women and children, charred by the damage of weapons of mass destruction. But who has the hope? Is there any? Who is virtuously defending their cause? Is there even a cause worth defending? And what about the places, say in Africa, where genocide has been being propagated for generations, yet no one seems to care? Where is their hope?

Cease fire? Doubt it. At least, not for long. Unfortunately, there is a war imbedded deep within human nature that, when misguided, cannot be satisfied by anything other than the exertion of power over something else, a prideful demonstration of a man's rebellion due to sin. There is no one without it. Everyone has it. There is a war in everyone, either physical or spiritual, or both. There is likely not a person who doesn't, at one time or another, beg the question, "Why all this suffering if there is a loving God hovering over us all?" Others, who have faith in Jesus, may ask, "If then we are under the new covenant of healing grace, then why do we let ourselves suffer? It doesn't have to be that way!"

It's interesting to think about the different types of spiritual awareness of suffering...

The man who leaves his carnal passions unchecked picks up a gun and starts shooting. His life becomes the embodiment of suffering, the very definition of a miserable existence. He suffers relentlessly.

The man who finds religion restrains his carnal passions so that he doesn't screw up his life and goes on doing all the rights while avoiding all the wrongs. Yet he hates many things about his life for no particular reason, unable to find his worth in anything except his religiosity. He suffers every day except Sunday and Wednesday, when he's able to renew his devotion to religion.

The man who finds spirituality attempts to transcend his carnal passions by taking control of his life and everything in it. Suffering ought not affect him because he has found a higher place, far away from it. Yet he is ungrounded, dismayed when he is inevitably faced with suffering. He suffers when things are uncertain and suffering looms heavily upon him. He suffers even more when the suffering actually comes.

The man who is found by Jesus relinquishes all control of his carnal passions, knowing that he will fail from time to time, yet trusting that he is accepted regardless of his imperfections. He realizes that there is suffering in store for him, yet he hopes in the sovereign providence of his God to persevere him through it. He doesn't try to escape it, but instead digs his heels deep in faith, knowing that God will never leave him to face it on his own. He asks confidently for deliverance by his God, according to God's perfect and infinitely wise will. He suffers frequently, yet overcomes it and conquers it.

For those who are found by Jesus, suffering is never absent. In fact, Jesus promises it to those who earnestly follow him. Until he returns to reconcile all things to himself, to make all things new, there will be sin and the resulting effects of it. So how much more, then, is suffering prevalent to all people!

When Adam and Eve rebelled against the one command of God in the Garden of Eden, certain things followed:

"To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”"
Genesis 3:16-19

To separate suffering from humanity is to separate sin from a man. Obviously, the time has not yet come for this to happen. Therefore, there will be suffering. The woman who has devoted her entire life to helping others in need will still die from cancer. The young child, afflicted with leukemia, will still suffer much before it all ends in death. Millions will continue to die in third world countries due to disease and famine. Wars will continue to ravage the countrysides of nations worldwide, as it has for decades. In both small and large measures, through circumstances that bring a person to the brink of self-destruction, suffering has endured the ages. These things ought to be expected, for they have remained almost since the beginning of time. Sin causes death, and pain, and suffering. These are all inevitable. However cynical and pessimistic this may seem, it is reality. It is the cost of rebellion against God.

So why do I say all this? Well, I have some well-meaning great friends and brothers in the faith who sometimes entertain the idea that these things can somehow be different. In an attempt to encourage, one of these brothers might say, "It doesn't have to be that difficult; we are under a new covenant!" In other words, we don't have to settle for sickness and hardship, for God must deliver us from those things since we are under grace and not the law only. "The prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much" (James 5:16b) and "many are the afflictions of the righteous but God delivers him from them all" (Psalm 34:19), but where is the line drawn between faith fueled by ignorant zeal and faith informed in deep biblical teachings?

I believe that the only thing to which we are entitled under the new covenant is death and hell, for it is what we deserve. Yet the grace and kindness of God affords us faith in a gracious Lord and Savior, Jesus. And that is enough. We need not order God to simply take suffering away from us. Jesus is enough to persevere us in the midst of suffering and pain. He'll be there and in the darkness of our weakness he'll be our strength. Those who trust him will consequently endure.

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
-Romans 5:3-5

2009: A New Year of Our Lord's Neverending, Precious Grace

2009-01-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

A few examples of New Year Prayers, from a spiritual ancestor...

1830
Be pleased, dear Lord, to grant me during the present year--more of Your gracious presence, more tenderness of conscience and fear of offending You; more humility, stronger faith, and more entire devotedness to Your cause. Enable me to leave my temporal concerns entirely with You, to walk by faith, to have my treasure in heaven, and to manifest by my conduct--that I am Your disciple. Let me not grow cold or lukewarm--but may "I lay aside every weight and the sin which does so easily beset me, and may I run with patience the race set before me, looking unto Jesus. Amen."

1832
"Here I raise my Ebenezer." Thus far the Lord has brought me. Though the past has been a year of multiplied transgressions and backslidings, I trust, through His abundant mercy, my face is still Zionward, and that my prevailing desire is to be devoted entirely to His service. Take me, dearest Lord, and form me for Your own glory. I feel much bodily weakness. Oh, that through the crevices of this frail tabernacle, I may see some of the glories of the eternal world!

1840
Most dear and precious Christ, I had not thought to see another new-year's day--but hoped before now--to have beheld You face to face! Like him of old, who was possessed of a legion of demons, I besought that I might be with You. But for a season, You have seen good to withhold the full answer to my request. "May Your will be done!" Glorify Yourself in me, and be much, very much with me, until You shall say, "Arise, my love, and come away," to be with Me forever! I desire most humbly and unreservedly, in Your own strength, to yield to Your Divine disposal--all I have and am, and to continually lose my wish and will, in Yours. I would lay at Your feet all creatures and created good, with every seeming evil--and embrace Yourself, my Jesus, as my joy, portion, happiness, wisdom, strength, peace--yes, my all in all--for the coming year, or so much of it as I tarry upon earth; and then, as my joyful, blissful portion through eternity! Oh, lead me, Holy Comforter, more into Christ--and out of SELF! I have had much of blessing--but I long and pray for more; in Jesus' name. Enlarge my expectations more, I beg You--and more I shall receive. "Lord, increase my faith."

1842
Precious Christ, I come with a large request for 1842: it is that You would be the "Alpha and Omega" of it. Do You not say, "Ask what I shall give you?" Yourself, Lord! You have most blessedly given Yourself to me. But I find sweet liberty to entreat more unfolding, revealing, and opening of Your glorious person, amazing work, and matchless love, than I have yet had; and more losing and treading down of SELF, too--that I may be lost in Your fullness, and forgotten and forsaken in Your soul-absorbing glories. Oh! raise me higher, draw me nearer, that I may daily die, and You live in me more manifestly. I just give myself to You, to live on You, to live in You, to live for You, more and more than heretofore, and that by the power of the Spirit resting on me. I humbly ask that mine may be a large and still-increasing portion; that, under fresh anointings, You, most lovely Jesus, may be more fully known, more loved, more served; for it is to You the Holy Spirit leads, of You He testifies.

Oh, do make this a large, rich, full year! You being increasingly honored in me, and I increasingly lost in You, and made an increasing blessing to Your dear people. An Ebenezer for past mercies befits me; large and magnificent have been Your bestowments; bountiful and constant Your favors to me--a poor worthless nothing! "Bless the Lord, O my soul--and all that is within me, bless His holy name!"

As 2009 ensues, may we reach a spiritual depth into the presence of God Himself that will radically transform who we are. May we not be spiritual or intellectual weaklings that are tossed around by every empty philosophy or wind of doctrine or latest fad or media frenzy. Rather, would it be that we would dive headlong into the Scriptures so that we may fully worship God with our minds, refuting every false thought or teaching, discerning that which is good and true in the midst of a multitude of lies. How sadly is it that we so easily submit to the strong arm of deception because we know not the Scriptures well enough!

May the Lord alone be preeminent in our lives, above all things. Jesus is the first and the last, the Head of all things, for all things were created through Him and for Him. What would happen if we truly lived every moment of 2009 completely submitted to His wonderfully perfect Lordship? Then, perhaps then, would we become true disciples. May it be so, Lord. Amen.

Looking in the Wrong Places (An Overdue Post)

2008-08-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

"I have seen all the things that are done under the sun;
all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
Ecclesiastes 1:14

Happiness is the primary object of human pursuit.
The desire for happiness, urges our weary steps in
the pilgrimage of life.

Have all the scenes of gaiety and mirth, of beauty
and splendor, by which the gaze has been fixed and
fascinated--supplied enjoyment, either equal to the
expectations, or worthy of the wishes of a rational
and immortal being?

Both observation and experience abundantly confirm the
truth of the paradox--that pleasure is not happiness.
Every votary of pleasure knows it. The varied forms of
fascination by which he has been wooed, have successively,
in their very embrace, surprised him by the concession--
"Happiness is not in me!" The thousand images which
imagination creates, have not satisfied him--but have
left in his soul a painful vacuum, and a distressing
sense of longing.

The moral constitution of his mind precludes any other
result of these worldly pursuits. He was designed for a
higher destiny, and for nobler joys. He possesses a
principle, whose kindred elements are not found in
worldly objects, neither in . . .
honor nor splendor,
refinement nor luxury,
revelry nor mirth,
beauty nor fine taste.
He seeks, with restless desire--the unseen and spiritual
felicities of the eternal world, and aspires to the happiness
which immortality alone can give. He will know neither
rest nor joy--until he shall have heaven for his home, and
sit forever beneath the smiles of that gracious God, who
is at once the author of his existence, and the source of
his felicity.

In order to escape from wearying toils, painful afflictions,
withering disappointments, and disquieting apprehensions
--we must "quit the mirthful delusive scene!" The giddy
mazes of pleasure's enchantment have long perplexed;
its empty pageants have already disgusted; its sickly joys
have nauseated and cloyed the heart--while the soul seeks
an introduction to holier and happier joys.

What though the siren's song has long ravished its victim,
and led him so widely astray--yet may he not "pause, reflect,
and return?" Yes, true religion will secure peace, and safety,
and hope. Thousands have proved it. Many a hapless voyager
on life's wide ocean, who had long pursued vain and perilous
wanderings, borne onward by the fluctuating tide of fashion,
or sported with by the fickle winds of worldliness; living a mad
and fearful lifestyle in the wild storm of passion; or floating,
thoughtless and mirthful, with the current of pleasure--to the
distant vortex of damnation--has been rescued from peril and
misery, and has pursued a prosperous course to the distant
land of his heavenly home, repose and felicity.

From the blandishments of ruinous dissipation, therefore--the
votaries of pleasure are invited to the genuine enjoyments of
piety. Here alone will be found repose, satisfaction, and enduring
pleasure! Let the sublime doctrines and virtuous precepts, which
the oracles of truth inculcate--engage their attentive study and
practical regard. The sentiments here exhibited, will present a
striking contrast to the spirit, maxims, and pursuits of the
mirthful world.

Contact with sacred truths must be close and constant,
that the mind may receive their complexion, and frame
its habits of thought and feeling on the sacred model.
The Word of God must be believed; it must, moreover,
be reverenced and loved. In the same proportion, will
the influence of worldly maxims and examples become
weakened, a taste for mirthful pleasures destroyed--
and the bias of the mind rendered serious and devout.

The pleasures of a pious life are indescribably exquisite.
The elevated duties of piety--
its dignified motives;
its purifying influence;
the holy restraint which it imposes on the passions;
the tranquility which it imparts to the conscience;
the bright and enduring prospects which it offers to hope;
the sovereign antidote which it supplies to the afflictions of life
--render the inspired declaration emphatically true: "Her ways
are ways of pleasantness--and all her paths are peace."

Meeting Maribel

2008-08-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

So we'd been in Texas all of a couple weeks when we left for another road trip, this one to visit family and friends in the Midwest. We drove 15 hours the first day to Illinois where Adam's sister Alicia and her family live. After spending the night and morning with them, we left (minus Adam's mom Regan) and drove to Fort Wayne, Indiana to hang out with Bob and Sue Havenor for a couple days. It was amazing to be with them again and see how God is using them in their neighborhood. Then, it was on to Michigan to hang out with Kattie's side of the family and to meet Maribel, the newest member of the family. At just two months old, she is a beauty and very peaceful. Both Mari and Rosi keep Carrie busy, but they are amazing delights to everyone around them. We traveled to the Mackinaw Bridge, went swimming in Lake Michigan, went to a couple zoos, and had a great time catching up. After a few days we headed back to Fort Wayne and then on to Illinois, where we spent a day and a half with Jon, Alicia, and Addi again. It was a fantastic trip and we can't wait to see them all again. Only next time... they all have to come here!

Here are Bob and Sue at a great BBQ they hosted for the neighborhood.

Baby Mari (pronounced Madi) resting on Aunt Kattie's pillow.

Rosi decided the apples were ready to pick, but after trying to eat one changed her mind.

Uncle Adam took Rosi on the camel ride at the zoo.

The girls in their Texas gear.

The adorable Addi Marie...

Reading "Beetle Bop" again and again. He's not as surprised as he looks...

The Underrated Value of Family

2008-07-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

These days, it is all too common that a person would rather have a pet than a child. What a shame! It's absurd. I mean, how could you not want one of these?

A good friend once said, "Children are hope. When people stop having kids, they've lost hope." But it's not only a child. It's a brother or a sister or a parent or a cousin. Why is it that we are so independent? How have we become this way? We have been designed for community, in the midst of a family. But rarely do we even eat together any more. If we did, then there might be something like this happen...

And that brings us laughter. That brings us joy. We have something in common: each other. There will never be a break in the bond that we have in family. No matter what happens, that's constant.

It's funny how children draw us together. They're important. I mean, we were all there once and it's fun to see someone else there too, enjoying life so innocently before all the pressure comes. It puts our hearts at ease and makes us reminisce about ourselves. Family is important. It is vital, our lifeblood here on earth.

I appreciate my family. All of them. Whether we have seen eye-to-eye all the time or not, I praise God for each and every one of them. And I am glad to have an even bigger family now that I'm married. There's so much joy to be had and so much love to give that family seems to be requisite to a full life.

Thank you, Lord, for not leaving us alone. And all this reflects your goodness to us in your personal relationship with those of us who trust you with our entire lives.

Thanks.

A Picture is Worth... Well It's Expensive, I Guess

2008-07-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

Below includes several photos from our trip beginning in Oregon and ending in Texas. There are scenes from Redwood National Park, the West Coast, a Californian sunset, Yosemite National Park, the Grand Canyon, and a beautiful rainbow for good measure. Oh, and don't forget - Paul Bunyan and his Ox Babe, drawn to scale. We enjoyed God's wonderful creation during this trip, for sure.

A Joyous Reunion

2008-06-26T16:01:00.001-07:00

Having just returned from a visit to our beloved Morocco, we realize how much we have missed the people there. We left for Casablanca in a whirlwind as we both had just barely finished our jobs here in Portland before heading off to the airport. We frantically got our boarding passes and headed off to Casablanca via London via Seattle. Of course, the trip was ridiculously long, but entirely worth it.

Just over one year ago, when Kattie and I told our students that we were leaving Morocco, we made a commitment to them to come back the following year for graduation, which serves as a reunion of sorts for former students and teachers of the school. So, in order to ease their hearts, we kept our commitment all year long, despite the ridiculous risen prices of airfare and the new luggage fees. So we arrived a day before graduation.

Graduations are a great celebration for so many people and a rite of passage for those to whom it means the most: the students. It was especially meaningful to a lot of those students that we would make such a long trip to see them celebrate such a great accomplishment in their young lives. But in Morocco, receiving a top-notch trilingual education is even more profound, since the literacy rate in the country is less than half. So seeing these young people take such a gigantic step in this way is incredibly special for us and for them. Words cannot express how proud we are of them. I miss seeing all those flags hanging up, representing all of the countries from which the students in the graduating class hail. This particular class boasted graduates from ten different countries! Quite a sight.

Zouheir is headed off to college in New York City, a dream come true for many foreigners aspiring to attain higher education. He was the valedictorian of his class, received the citizenship award, and was one of my former basketball players. This, my friends, is a special young man. And he's not the only one. So many of these young people, if given the opportunity, have the potential to significantly impact their own native countries in so many ways. For this reason, Kattie and I are supremely thankful to have been influential in some small measure in their lives. Now, as we are all in the United States, we hope to stay in contact with many of the alumni of our school in order to help them in whatever way we can.

And of course, there's our home church. Oh, how we've missed them! The freedom to sing as many songs as we like, with no real agenda most days, except to share about the goodness of God in our lives on a weekly basis. We were able to share with these friends about how faithful God has been to us this year in Portland. It was an inexpressible pleasure to be with these folks while worshiping our God and eating some great food afterward.

Ah, and here's our good friend Jojo. We had such great times with him, whether it be playing basketball, hanging out and being amused by his amazingly loud entertainment system, or having deep conversation over chocolate crepes. He is such an amazing man and hopefully we'll be a bit closer when he finally receives his VISA to live in Canada.

Here are the ladies that pour so much of themselves out to other people. We have learned so much from these mentors of ours, Kattie in particular. They are such great examples of godly women who are faithful in their respective callings in Morocco.

Last but certainly not least, our other family: the Bonillas. Karine instantly became our friend as she and Kattie spoke French together during their daily breaks at school, and since they are from France, Kattie learned a lot from this great friend. We also enjoyed Romain (who recently graduated and is now headed to university in Minnesota) in class and Bastien's (an upcoming 9th grader) humor and frequent injuries. It was always good to receive the hospitality that Philippe and his wonderful family gave us. We will miss our French friends.

All in all, this return trip to Morocco was an incredibly enjoyable one. We were able to enjoy all the things that made us fall in love with Morocco, while not having to deal with all the stress and difficulties of being there long-term. Also, Kattie was able to give so many friends a proper goodbye since she wasn't able to last year due to some severe sickness upon her departure. Bottom line: we've missed Morocco and it will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Triumphant?

2008-06-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love most about the Gospel is that it often doesn't make a whole lot of intuitive sense to me as a man living in the West during the 21st century. It makes me think more than anything else and broadens my otherwise narrow perspective. It seems like the ideologies that Jesus discussed and displayed are radically different than mine. Than ours. Sayings like, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, If anyone slaps you on the right cheek turn to him the other also, If anyone forces you to go one mile go with him two miles, etc. And actions like, Healing the blind and lame, Forgiving the prostitute and thief without penalty, and entering the capital city of Jerusalem on a colt instead of a victorious steed. These things make me reevaluate the way I think and live. It's not because they're hip or trendy ideas, but exactly the opposite -- they seem so radical that they border on insanity. But this is how God himself has done things.

Even though some people honestly do profess to follow the teachings of Jesus and desperately try to emulate his life, their ideologies differ vastly from his. Jesus kept telling his disciples that he was going to reign victoriously for the sake of his people. But this Kingdom in which he was to be king would not be a kingdom like they thought, nor a kingdom like we think today. It's different. Drastically different. We expect a Victor to gallup right up into the tyrannical rule of our day (Gladiator style) on a white horse with shiny armor and a blazing sword to destroy evil rule and to overthrow the oppressive tyrant. But he didn't do it that way thousands of years ago, and he still doesn't seem to do it that way today.

To me, it seems like often those who take such an approach justifiably become like the one they've overthrown. For the sake of such ideologies as "Freedom of religion," or "Freedom of democracy," or "Freedom to own land," rulers have sometimes attempted to dominate a people by overthrowing a government or a ruler. Then imperialism or colonialism sets in. The plan may not have worked. Not because they were unsuccessful in accomplishing the goal of Justice in overthrowing an oppressive ruler, but because there is no peace in this.

"Freedom is seldom found by beating someone to the ground, telling them how everything is gonna be now."
(Excerpt from Amos Lee's song entitled, Freedom).

So many times, an outside force comes in with power to try to impose freedom upon the people that suffer under an oppressive rule. [Impose Freedom?!?!] They march in with their big guns, arrogance, and larger-than-life pride that screams, "Fear this!" It's almost as if arrogance can somehow produce peace, for that's the end goal isn't it? Or is it? We should all agree that it ought to be. But that doesn't seem to line up with today's priorities. In many places worldwide, we see widespread corruption because power is the priority, not peace.

Jesus is the only one in history who accomplished both. And he did it without absurd pomp and circumstance, without acclaim or renown, but on a colt and then on a cross. Here's an account of Jesus' "triumphal" entry into the capital city in his version of overthrowing the current kingdom:

"Now when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethphage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately as you enter it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever sat. Untie it and bring it. If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately.’” And they went away and found a colt tied at a door outside in the street, and they untied it. And some of those standing there said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” And they told them what Jesus had said, and they let them go. And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!”"
-Mark 11:1-10

There were no tanks. No fireworks or elaborate speeches. Not even a very good reception from huge crowds since many people probably disliked him or at least thought he was crazy. There were probably some boos like when the MVP of the league steps onto an opposing court. All they saw was a carpenter, riding on a donkey, being praised by his twelve groupies and a few other people with tree branches. This does not seem at all to be how God should reclaim his throne! But that is exactly how he did it. And then he proceeded to die the most gruesome and humiliating death on a cross. Die??? Wasn't he supposed to live victoriously and reign with authority? Yes and yes. And he still does.

So why all of this? I think many times we get it ALL wrong. For the sake of one idea or virtue, we think things must happen a certain way. God may disagree. He traded unbounded power for meekness. A sword for a cross. A strong white horse for a weak brown colt. Yet his Kingdom Reigns far greater than any other earthly kingdom, and his power reaches far beyond any other power that has ever existed.

So I have to rethink my motivations, my ideas of what this Kingdom is like, especially since I have become a member in it. It might not be like I thought it was in the past.

My time here in Portland has been often difficult for a variety of reasons. Foremost is my perception of the fruit that has grown (or not grown). In my opinion, I have not seen much fruit in my life in these past ten months. But does that mean there has been none, and that I have not been used by God for the sake of his name? Absolutely not. Like I said, I must reevaluate my life, my ideas, my thinking. The kingdom that I think I serve may not be the Kingdom of God.

That's hard.

The Wait

2008-05-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

It seems like so many people are constantly waiting for something. I know I often find this true in myself. I wait for weekends. I wait for breaks. I wait for the sunshine (here in the Pacific Northwest). I wait for the summer. I wait for the next opportunity to do this or that. Centrally in my life at this point, I wait for the time when I will move back to Africa for good. I always seem to be waiting for something.

Now, I know that being impatient and overly anxious are not very admirable qualities in a person, but they seem inescapable for me—it is as if they are deeply ingrained in me; it is my nature. The desirable characteristics are wise patience and contentment. Not necessarily a passive patience, but a calm one that realizes the passing of time. I often think of many of the wisest men I have met in my life. In them, there is a peace, a calmness, a patience. Through decades of experience, they have come to the realization that strife is meaningless, for all things have their time. The ancient King Solomon has described this in a book of wisdom called Ecclesiastes. But alas, I am young. And impatient. And often overly anxious. For young men, this is especially hard.

It is interesting, though. I say this because every time I find myself impatient and anxious, I am waiting for something. It is as if these two things are bound together in me as a figurative shackle of my humanity. Is it something that I must do in the future? Or is it perhaps something that may happen to me in the future? Some place to go or someone to meet? Or maybe it will be some thing to enjoy and find pleasure in? And then it happens: time passes and I reach the point where I can “do this thing,” or “meet this person,” or “go to this place.” The impatience withers and the anxiousness subsides, at least for a while. Then, after more time passes, I grow impatient and anxious again, waiting for the next thing, whatever it may be. I have always been this way—my mother has told me that I have gone through these cycles ever since elementary school.

If these cycles have continued for the past 20 years, then it begs the question, “If these things for which I am continually waiting are not actually satisfying me, then what am I truly waiting for?” C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, The Weight of Glory: “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” For me, I have put away the "fooling about with drink and sex and ambition," but it seems that other things have replaced these. I now try to find satisfaction in the prospect of living life full-time overseas or in starting a family. Still, these things are far too small to satisfy me. What then?

“Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!”
–Psalm 27:14

The dictionary definition for wait for is this: to be in readiness for; be reserved for. In the past, I have often misunderstood this saying, taking wait for to mean either "wait on" like a waiter as if God needed a refill of his Diet Coke, or "wait for" as if God was delayed in carrying out his plan. To me, it is obvious that both of these misperceived definitions do not seem to agree with the character of God. It seems to me that He is the object of my waiting but I am the subject who must wait. How then must I wait? This is no passive waiting, like the passive patience mentioned above, but an active waiting as in preparing to meet. For example, no one in their right mind goes into a meeting with a powerful figure without preparing to meet them to make some sort of positive impression. Of course, this is a dim representation of how it will be when God's people are reunited with Him, but it will suffice for now.

All this to say that I often reflect on my nature as a redeemed person and am sometimes frustrated with my imperfections. I seem to have an inability to wait well. Lately, this has especially been true as I have often expressed how impatient I am and how ready I am to move on to the "next thing." At this point, as I am nearing the end of the rope of my patience, I can only hope that my God will be my strength and give my heart courage so that I can wait well for Him, not for the next upcoming stage in my life.

May I not be so easily pleased.

Beauty

2008-05-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

We have had three of the most beautiful days in a very...very long time. Tomorrow is supposed to be the 4th day of sunshine in row! If that happens, it will be the first time since January...before that it was September. We like sunshine, so it was the perfect day to be outside. My family was camping at Silver Falls, but Adam and I weren't too stoked about camping because we were disbelieving that there would be nice weather. The weather proved amazing so we drove down for the day. We hung out with the family, played with Alex in the water, and went on a nice little hike to see 2 of the 10 waterfalls. The smaller one is called Frenchie Falls and the larger one is the South Falls. The South Falls was so amazing it looked like a movie set. We hiked down and got to go around behind the waterfall. It is truly one of God's amazing works!

Half a Year...

2008-05-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, I guess it's my turn to post something... so here goes. We got engaged...
We got married...
and 6 months later, we still love it!

God's design for marriage is awesome, I can think of no better representation of his love for us. I know we both lived without each other for the beginning part of our lives, but I can't imagine being without my best friend again.

Life's Harsh Reality

2008-05-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

“A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
-Proverbs 13:12

In total desperation, our only refuge is hope. As the refuge of hope gives us shelter, we become more desperate to retain it. Hope is like a warm blanket that we can wrap around ourselves in the midst of a cruel, bitter-cold world. Things are broken because they break easily. No one has ever observed an unbreakable heart or an unbreakable spirit because none of us is invincible, no matter how much we try to be. And it’s the hardest thing in the world to repair our own brokenness. The hurt is suppressive. The pain is oppressive. It’s too much for us to handle, so we become desperate. In our desperation, we sometimes turn to abusing drugs or sex, for example. Or sometimes we turn to violence or self-mutilation or eating disorders. Unfortunately, we still may turn to suicide in an unsuccessful attempt to subdue our pain and brokenness.

The pinnacle of our hope in this life is “to be happy.” Everyone wants it. Deep down inside, in the depths of our beings, we’re all hedonists. We all want to avoid pain and sorrow so that we may gain happiness and pleasure, and we’ll go to great lengths to get it. In some cultures, this might be defined as nirvana, or intellectual clarity and enlightenment. In postmodern Western culture, we typically turn to material wealth and possessions or appearances or social status or intellectual superiority or self-help manuals to try to make ourselves happy. All in all, we find ourselves lacking and our hope of happiness keeps getting deferred to a later hopeful point in life, as we naïvely say to ourselves, “Maybe I’ll get there someday.” But when that someday comes and we still find ourselves unfulfilled, our hope turns into despair as we become desperate all over again. In that sort of desperation, often people turn to last resort measures, some more severe than others. It could look like a change in career or an impulsive purchase of a Porsche 911 during a mid-life crisis. Or it could look like suicide and/or mass murders. Any perceived happiness for these people is simply the exact opposite, a counterfeit, misery in disguise. Or it could mean an entire surrender to another person because we’ve found that we are totally incapable of attaining happiness at all, no matter what day of the week it is. We may turn to a friend or a spouse or a family member or a public figure. But the rightful place to turn is to the only One who can give us true, lasting happiness: our Creator.

I’ve had many people close to me that have found themselves in positions of desperation, myself included. Life is not easy – that’s a lesson most of us learn a little later in life. There are real responsibilities, real conflicts, real broken relationships, and real battles. In the midst of this war that rages in our lives, and there is a war, pacifists will be slaughtered. There’s no draft dodging. There’s no M.I.A. or A.W.O.L., for no one can escape hand-to-hand combat with the brutality of life. Those who try to escape it can’t; they’re only living in a fantasy world. We must fight.I think the lyrics from Ben Harper’s song, “Fight Outta You,” describe a desperate reality that some of us face day in and day out:

there's always someone younger,
someone with more hunger…don’t let them take the fight outta you.
they'll say you're one and only,
then straight up leave you lonely…don’t let them take the fight outta you.
like a transplant patient,
waiting for a donor…don’t let them take the fight outta you.
like a half empty balloon,
after a party in the corner…don’t let them take the fight outta you.

This is not something that someone teaches us – we learn it as we live. It can make us resilient or it can wear us down. Regardless, we must still cling to hope, for it may be all that’s left for us to hold on to.

For one reason or another, I’ve had a few people in my life confide in me with the strains of their souls. And I know of other situations of the sobering reality of life.

Once, a teenage girl told me that she had severe difficulties with having a positive self-esteem and self-image leading to depression, an eating disorder, and thoughts of suicide. Her life became a haze of despair.

I know a woman who has lovingly poured out her entire life for the sake of other people. Despite being in excellent health for her age, she was recently diagnosed with cancer. She couldn’t believe that something so destructive could be inside of her when she felt so good. Her life became an unusual, dismal excuse for a reward.

A young man once told me that he felt very lost in his life, running away from his past. He had grown up in the Midwest, gotten into some trouble with the law, and took off with the carnival down south in order to escape the warrant that was issued on his life. As a traveling vagabond, he began to develop his drug addiction. His life became a house of shambles.

Back in college, a friend of mine struggled intensely with homosexual tendencies that tormented him to the point of depression and hopelessness. He refused to give in to the temptation to submit to these tendencies because he knew deep within himself that it was wrong. His life became a living nightmare.

A wonderful man I know fell in love with “the only one for me in this world.” As the wedding approached, she started having doubts and it puzzled him. She said it had nothing to do with him, but he still didn’t know what had changed in her. His life became a wave of uncertainty.

One of the most loving women I know encountered severe health problems and had to drop everything in her life to deal with her depleted health. Faced with double kidney failure, she had to endure dialysis on a daily basis. Her name was put on the organ recipient list. Her life became a slave to the fleeting sands of time.

In all of these stories, people became desperate because their lives became broken, in one degree or another. Their hope for happiness was deferred to a time when the brokenness would be repaired. Immediately, their hearts became sick while sadness crept in. But in all of these particular situations that have already been resolved, a common response developed in their hearts and compelled them: their desperation led to a hope in the One who could help them, namely, God Himself. They came to the realization that it was impossible for them, in and of themselves, to attain happiness and wholeness for themselves, but Jesus could because He lived here on this earth and experienced all of the pain, sorrow, and difficulty that life has dumped on us – and he overcame it all. Since He overcame it, they knew that through Him they could also overcome the despair, in hope, to someday attain true happiness. Their lives may not be fully healed or fully repaired or fully whole (yet), but hope has been their refuge and that refuge has provided a place to seek more hope, that their desire for happiness might be truly fulfilled someday.

On that day, in that place, they will find a tree of life.

In desperation, there are two paths to take. One leads to a true hope that fulfills a desire and ends at the towering tree of life, while the other leads to a false hope that makes the heart sick and ends at the wilted tree of death. Psalm 16:11 is a description of God’s intervening work in the lives of those who seek Him, that “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” At that tree of life, Jesus awaits us to fulfill our desires and make our hearts glad.

On the Necessity of True Doctrine

2008-04-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

Forgive me for the long videos, but since we are often so visually-centered, I thought this might be a good way to convey the importance and necessity of right doctrine.

False Prophets and Teachers

"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment; if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; if by turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to ashes he condemned them to extinction, making them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard); then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority.

Bold and willful, they do not tremble as they blaspheme the glorious ones, whereas angels, though greater in might and power, do not pronounce a blasphemous judgment against them before the Lord. But these, like irrational animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught and destroyed, blaspheming about matters of which they are ignorant, will also be destroyed in their destruction, suffering wrong as the wage for their wrongdoing. They count it pleasure to revel in the daytime. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their deceptions, while they feast with you. They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls. They have hearts trained in greed. Accursed children! Forsaking the right way, they have gone astray. They have followed the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved gain from wrongdoing, but was rebuked for his own transgression; a speechless donkey spoke with human voice and restrained the prophet's madness.

These are waterless springs and mists driven by a storm. For them the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved. For, speaking loud boasts of folly, they entice by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved. For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”
2 Peter 2

What a tragedy it is when we have our own fellow believers being tempted by and trusting in false doctrines! Paul says, "And [Jesus] gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." (Ephesians 4:11-16)

When false apostles and false prophets and false evangelists and false shepherds and false teachers creep in and begin to deceive those who are seeking the true Gospel of Jesus, it is as though they are doing violence to children. No one would stand for that kind of child abuse.

Needless to say, it is crucial for those seeking a true knowledge of God to know what the Bible actually teaches: we can only know Him through faith in Jesus, the only Way to God. We MUST believe in True Doctrine. So whether it be worldwide icons like Oprah Winfrey or Tom Cruise, or even preachers with poor theology like John Hagee or Joel Osteen, we can simply listen to their babbling hot air (Tom Cruise truly is the master at this), weight it against Scripture, and toss it aside as more rubbish. And then we ought to pray for them.

Most of all, we MUST read our Bibles for ourselves. If we merely rely on other people to dictate all that we believe, we submit ourselves to the potential corrupted leadership of a fellow sinner. Yes, we have godly leaders -- who are just as susceptible to sin as anyone else. We ought to trust our godly leaders, but never more than the Scripture which is the very Word of God. So let us read our Bibles together, lest we revert back to the days before Luther and the Reformation when the Roman Catholic Church dictated the identity of Christianity instead of Christ Himself.

Alex and the Gator

2008-04-11T17:06:00.000-07:00

We had one of the first really nice sunny days today. It was awesome. I took the kids for walks, went to the parks, we saw some ducks. It was so nice that Alex (my nephew) decided he wanted to get out the Gator. It's cool because in October when he got it for his 2nd birthday, he was way too little to drive it and now he loves it. Of course, the seatbelt and helmet are a must and mom keeps the steering wheel cranked so he just goes in circles. Smart.
For those of you who don't speak 2 year old...
"Say hi Bobby (my dad)"
"Hi Bobby"
"Say I like John Deere!"
"I like... I like cows!"
"You like cows.. Say, I like John Deere."
"I like John Deere."
He's a John Deere man in the making...

There were two!!!

2008-04-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

Living in Portland has been some what of a challenge for us (as you might have noticed from other posts, e-mails, and conversations), but has also had its rewards. We had a hard time finding a church and began to feel like counting down the days until we moved to Texas was the way to get by. Then the Lord led us to our current "home," Red Sea Church. The community is great, the teaching is Biblical (which you may think is common in all churches, but it's not), and there are many chances to get involved. We, however, didn't want to get involved, it makes leaving hard. But one thing I've learned is that you have to get involved, you have to use your gifts, or you shrivel. One of our first weeks at church there was an announcement about an English class starting up for the local Hispanic community. Adam and I knew that this was how we were going to get involved. We started meeting with the group that was volunteering their time and talents to teach complete strangers English. They are awesome. There are only a few of us with education backgrounds, but the team that has been built in just a short month is really great. So, we planned, advertised, and waited for people to come. They didn't. Not one person showed up to the informational meeting. The best part about it was that none of us felt bad. We prayed hung up more flyers and met again last Monday night. We stood in a circle praying for God's will and His timing. Adam no more got the word "amen" out of his mouth and two men came walking in the door! We sat and talked with them for about an hour and they were very encouraged and can't wait to learn. And, they're bringing friends next time. The coolest part was the excitement that the whole team felt about having two students (there are 10 of us). We knew God had brought these two men specifically, we'd prayed for exactly that. I can't wait to see how God uses them in the community that surrounds the church. It will be a true testimony of the grace and goodness of God. Our hope is that by learning English, our students will have a sense of dignity and that their opportunities will increase greatly. This ministry has the potential to have a huge impact because of where it is located, so pray for us and pray for Antonio and Abraham.

The Tough Road Through a Narrow Gate

2008-04-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the wide open spaces of Texas. It was easy to get from place to place because the roads were clearly defined and destinations clearly seen and known. Then I moved to Morocco. I can remember walking through the narrow passageways of any Medina (Old City) of a major city in Morocco. Particularly in Fes, it was a bit creepy and can be dangerous. It's tough to see your way through to any particular destination as you're continually rubbing shoulders with the masses going both ways, weaving in and out of the crowd, all the while dodging transit donkeys and darting children. It's a tough way to travel through very narrow places. Life can be likewise.

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
Matthew 7:13-14

Following Jesus is tough. There's no way around that. No doubt it is entirely worth the struggle, but regardless of any situation in life, it's just hard to remain faithful to what Jesus has called us.

While living in Morocco, I found myself desperate for the intervention of God in my life, that He would sustain me in such an entirely different spiritual environment. It was difficult, as a follower of Jesus, to be very outward with my faith, for it was a dangerous thing to do. All I could do is walk the path that He had set out for me. But it was a hard path. I often became weary and fell to my knees in hopes that my God would persevere me. And He did, of course.

Now, I will never claim that at any time while in Morocco, I faced any degree of religious persecution. My Moroccan friends are incredible people, and I love them dearly. I miss them very much. But, in my experience, living in a spiritually difficult place produces within us a degree of reliance and dependence on God that nothing else would require. One of my most favorite quotes is from John Piper: "One of God's gifts to us in suffering is that we are granted to see and experience depths of His Word that a life of ease and comfort would never yield." I find that to be very true, especially in those dear saints that have actually been persecuted and martyred for following Jesus.

Currently, I live in a completely different environment: the "religiously free" United States. And the Suburbs, no less. Never did I imagine living in the suburbs of Portland.But never did I imagine living in Africa, either. Don't get me wrong, I praise God for leading me here so that I may get to know my family and learn how to be a husband and teach in Oregon public schools. It's just so much different, both geographically and spiritually. I find the following excerpt from the Puritan Thomas Shepard's work a very accurate portrayal of America's religious freedom, which these days is some places almost turning into religious counterfeit or religious exclusion entirely. Shepard was one of the pilgrims that left England due to the persecutions of the Church of England in order to live in religious liberty in New England more than one hundred years before the Declaration of Independence.

The Danger of Carnal Security
(an excerpt from “The Devoted Life: An Invitation to the Puritan Classics,” describing Thomas Shepard’s The Parable of the Ten Virgins)

In spite of vast differences between the [wise and foolish] virgins, the parable warns that “the spirit of sloth and security” will overcome both wise and foolish virgins in the last days. “As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept” (Matthew 25:5). Shepard explained that their sleep signifies a carnal security that posed a great threat to the health and vitality of the “virgin churches” of New England. Their lack of persecution and abundance of “spiritual gifts and graces” had produced an unexpected result. Rather than usher in the godly society of “visible saints” as Shepard had hoped, their religious freedom had led to spiritual indifference and decadence. Those who had escaped the persecutions in England had now succumbed to a “carnal security” that dulled their conscience toward sin and their passions for Christ’s return. The “virgin churches” of Massachusetts faced a great temptation to slumber and sleep because “their beds [were] made soft” and “the storms” of persecution were “past.” Shepard pointed to the divisions among them and their wars with the Pequot Indians (1636-1637) as works of God’s providence to awaken them out of their spiritual indifference. He warned them especially against settling for a “peace with their sin,” a “peace that…gives up the fight against sin and Satan.” Rather, they must rest in the Lord, “a rest which faith gives” only after it has conquered sin. For peace with Christ is not experienced through “sloth” but by waging war “against every temptation.” The peace of faith often “finds and feels its rest most in the midst of trouble” because it is “in times of persecution” and hardship that “grace is most exercised” through prayer and watchfulness. The danger of “carnal security” is its presumption of grace that refuses to be disturbed by secret sins and selfish motives…. Shepard insisted that God’s saving grace results in not merely the passive imputation of righteousness but also an active righteous disposition that should be exercised by all truly regenerated saints.

In my observation of our culture these days, in many ways, I think America is past its prime, beyond its Golden Age. But let's face it: despite this war against terrorism or any other challenge, we are far from being persecuted. Especially in the churches of America. And within those churches, especially those huge suburban megachurches. So even more dangerous is Shepard's assessment of religious freedom. I listened to a sermon entitled, Death by Suburbia, which further emphasized the dangers of such a lifestyle.

It's truly a mystery what happens when the people of God are passionate risk-takers that are unafraid of being uncomfortable. Historically, after followers of Jesus were martyred, the church tended to explode. Rather than the believers shrinking back in fear, their God granted them even greater boldness. As Shepard said, maybe America needs these divisions and a battle similar to that with the Pequot Indians in order to awaken our desperation and dependence on Him alone rather than our material wealth and comforts.

But whether I live in the dangerous suburbs or the dangerous foreign country, the spiritual war rages on. The battles look drastically different depending on the spiritual setting. But regardless, the gate is narrow and the path is hard. Sometimes, it will seem as if Satan is squeezing the spiritual life out of me, like a boa constrictor, but Jesus is always there to persevere me, preserve me, and protect me. Never will I be alone on this journey, for He will never leave or forsake me. And in the end, there will be much rejoicing after these afflictions have passed -- both in the 'burbs and in Africa. In the meantime, I don't foresee it getting any easier, but I do see it getting better as the Lord refines me through the difficulties that this road will surely provide.

This might not be popular...

2008-03-26T14:32:00.002-07:00

Adam's been learning photoshop... That's what started this post. We were reading about the "recent" Clinton issue and I started thinking about leadership and lying. Our culture seems to be plagued by the scandals of people in the limelight (I'm talking politicians specifically here). I've mentioned this before, but the recent Clinton "mis-speak" has brought it up again. For those of you who don't know: Clinton (Hillary) recently gave a speech highlighting her "foreign policy experience." She told a "story" about a trip to Bosnia (when her husband was the President) during which, she and Chelsea had to "duck and cover" under sniper fire. Apparently, there was never any sniper fire at all, but rather happy smiley pictures of the family waving at onlookers. Does it really matter that she "mis-spoke?" Is it that she didn't remember? or is it that she was trying to make the truth look better than it is to, in turn make her look like a more "experienced" foreign policy woman? Does it really matter? Isn't lying, lying? I read a comment by a woman on a story about the Clinton lie that said she wanted to just focus on "the issues..." The issues? Isn't a leader who lies an issue?
Or have we gotten so loose in our morality that it doesn't even matter anymore? In recent months there have been several scandals have unfolded involving lying: Mayor of Detroit, Roger Clemens, the Governor of New York (and his successor), and the list could go on... The United States is supposed to be the "leader of the free world." We are powerful, educated, wealthy, tolerant, and free (according to most Americans). And yet, what marks us? Hollywood drama, political corruption, Athletic scandal, military botches, and dishonesty. Is that what we've become?
Proverbs 6 says
16"There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.
Interesting that lying comes up twice. Lying is simply shrugged off as though there are worse things, so it's not a concern. Murder, theft, drugs, alcohol abuse, etc. Since when did these things get put onto a list from worst to best? I don't want a leader who thinks these things (lying included) are ok. This really isn't about Hillary though, it's about us. Why don't we hold people accountable? Why do we excuse sin as though it were nothing? Of course making this suggestion is very unpopular. It would require people to be uncomfortable. It would require us to hold fast to truth. It would require Jesus. And people don't want that...
It seems that the US has seen its golden days and we are spiraling downward at a rapid pace. There have been other great civilizations with many of the same issues as we are facing today, poor leadership, severe moral decay, and vulnerability to attacks. They fell...

Below is a news broadcast about the whole "Clinton lie" if you're interested...

Tetris, Math, and God

2008-03-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I never really got into puzzles. They were too scattered and time-consuming, I guess. But lately, I've been enjoying them. Not those puzzles with the weird shapes that make some picture when you piece it all together. My brain is a little more cut-and-dry and systematic.

Even though I didn't much like those types of tabletop puzzles when I was young, I was a fan of Tetris on the old-school, 8-bit Nintendo video game system. Classic. That Nintendo, in my opinion was the best gaming system ever, but that's another story.

And since becoming a high school math teacher, my appreciation for puzzles has increased. In a lot of ways, math can be likened to a big puzzle that frustrates some people to no end because it can be a little tricky if the pieces don't seem to fit. But the beauty of it all is that they do fit, somehow.

Since my mind is one of those systematic, formulaic types, math treats me well. I find it difficult, however, for many of my students to work with the pieces of the puzzle to reach a masterful end result. It can be tricky. It can be messy. Sometimes you might have to think hard. Maybe even harder than you've ever thought before. It's a challenge, but a worthy one -- not necessarily because math is the greatest thing ever, but that it gives us the opportunity to stretch and grow our minds. I guess that's the greatest reason I like math (more than I ever thought I would): it challenges me to THINK.

But far more than math has taught me how to think, God has. When I try to wrap my mind around what has gone through the mind of God since the beginning of time, although I will never be able to do it, it is a great challenge for me. And it's fun because God has a manifold plan that He has been unveiling for millennia, and He allows me to behold it as He reveals it to mankind. The single most amazing thing that I have witnessed in my life is that in His infinite wisdom, all of God's puzzle pieces fit perfectly. Sometimes even the machines that carve out those little cardboard pieces make the most minute mistakes and somehow there may be a tiny gap here or there. Not so with God. There are no gaps.

The collage above depicts an incredibly imperfect portrait of but the tiniest glimpse into God's perfectly planned puzzle. Here's the literary description...

Puzzle Piece #1: Our Condition.
"The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life.
I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”"
Genesis 3:12-19

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them."
Romans 1:18-32

Puzzle Piece #2: God's Offer.
"Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.

But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 5:12-21

Puzzle Piece #3: New Life.
"Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb. Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus' head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples went back to their homes....

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”"
John 20:1-10, 19-29

Puzzle Piece #4: Eternity.
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.” And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. It had a great, high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and on the gates the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel were inscribed— on the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates. And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

And the one who spoke with me had a measuring rod of gold to measure the city and its gates and walls. The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width. And he measured the city with his rod, 12,000 stadia. Its length and width and height are equal. He also measured its wall, 144 cubits by human measurement, which is also an angel's measurement. The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, clear as glass. The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with every kind of jewel. The first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass.

And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life."
Revelation 21

Some people may not be as amazed as I am about all this (and there is so much more to it, by the way), but I am utterly overwhelmed and blown away at the peculiarity of this plan! It is far too high for me to comprehend, much less try to fathom that any man could have possibly conjured this up or altered it in any way, as some may try to argue.

As Easter arrives tomorrow, and there will certainly be crowds of unbelievers, fake believers, and true believers attending church tomorrow, it is my hope that the True Story, that is, the Gospel of Jesus, would be delivered in churches worldwide. The historical evidence and tradition of faith (not merely man-made religion) begs for us to give an accurate account of this huge puzzle that we call our existence and our condition as Creations, as humans. May another piece fit perfectly into God's infinitely glorious puzzle as He pours out His mercy upon us, sheds His grace upon us, and lavishes His love upon us by ultimately and decisively saving His chosen ones through the work of the cross and the resurrected King Jesus. He is risen. He is risen, indeed. And we will someday rise with Him! Hosanna, save now, O Lord!

The Deepest Longings

2008-03-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”
These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
-Psalm 42

It seems like life is cyclical. It ebbs and it flows. At one moment, you'll read David in the Psalms praising God with the utmost rejoicings of his heart. At the next moment, he cries out, "God where are you? Why have you left me?" I find myself much like David in that regard. But whether I am rejoicing or languishing in the shaky ground of my own emotions, there is one thing that always holds true: I must continually depend on my God to sustain me. I need the grace of God to give me the reliance by which I may trust Him, both in the life-filled moments and also in the most desolate places.

False Teachers...

2008-03-15T16:33:00.000-07:00

Come on with it, Johnny...

The Falls

2008-02-29T10:27:00.007-08:00

We've had some unseasonably warm weather lately, I mean like 60 degrees and bright sun. It's been a great break from the rain, snow, gray, and dreary Northwest winter. A couple of weekends ago we decided to take advantage of one such lovely day and go visit the Multnomah Falls. The falls are the second-tallest year-round waterfall in the nation dropping some 620 feet! We made the hour drive along the beautiful Columbia Gorge and arrived at a truly amazing sight.We started our climb to the top, with many other brave souls. It was a one-mile hike to the top, and another mile down. It was a windy dirt path to the top, but after a few breaks we made it, and the view from the top was spectacular. The water picked up speed in the winding widening stream leading up to the edge, rushed over the top and flowed down from Larch Mountain just as it has since God carved it out with His very hands. It was beautiful. On our drive home, I was reminded of our first drive past the Columbia Gorge, on our way into Portland, August 18, 2007. We'd been driving for three long days and were ready to finally be settled for a while. We got "officially" engaged a couple days later, married about 2 months after that, and here we are four months into our great adventure... I like life, it keeps you hoppin'.

Ask Whatever You Will

2008-02-24T20:34:00.012-08:00

Interesting how so many things come in groups of threes. One is too lonely. Two is better, but can create a rivalry. Three seems to be the optimum. There's the Trinity of course, the durable three-stranded cord that cannot easily be broken, and the Church's duty to Christ, Community, and Culture. There are also three strikes, three-pointers, and field goals. Notice that these lists come in threes too.

Well, here's another triple-connection that I recently came across as we've been studying the book of Mark. It involves the request to, "Ask Whatever You Will." In other words, I'll give you whatever you want, if...

Here's the first situation described in the New Testament, from the book of Matthew, when Jesus was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness:

"Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord your God
and him only shall you serve.’”"
Matthew 4:8-10

Here we see that Jesus is offered a great deal of worldly riches, if only...He would bow down and worship Satan. Of course, Jesus rejects the offer, knowing full well that the riches in serving God alone far outweigh any riches that any other kingdom has to offer. Jesus was offered the greatest wealth imaginable on earth, and He refused it, for the sake of something much more enjoyable.

The second observation I made is found in the recount of Mark in his gospel:

"But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. For when Herodias's daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.” And he vowed to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.” And she went out and said to her mother, “For what should I ask?” And she said, “The head of John the Baptist.” And she came in immediately with haste to the king and asked, saying, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”"
Mark 6:21-25

Here's another story involving the forerunner of Jesus, John the Baptist. But he's only the subordinate object of the story, not the subject. The subject of the story is the infamous daughter of Herodias, Herod Antipas' unrightful wife. In payment for her seductive dancing at the banquet, Herod makes the young girl an offer, "Ask whatever you will..." Her response is a tragic one, costing the head of John the Baptist.

First observation: When given the opportunity to take anything from the great kingdom of Herod, the young woman is unable to even make her own decision to answer the king. She apparently has an inability to make a thoughtful, conscious decision, so she consults her mother.
Second observation: In obedience to her mother's instructions, the young woman settles for a very small part of Herod's kingdom -- one that has absolutely no consequence to her whatsoever.

Bottom line: The twisted proposition of King Herod puts the power in the hands of a thoughtless young woman and her wicked mother, so John the Baptist loses his head. But more importantly for the young woman -- what a waste! She could have had anything, but she chose something so small for herself. For her, given a question such as the one proposed by Herod, with the young woman's abdication of limitless potential and the resulting lack of choice, her most extravagant dreams and desires reveal themselves to truly be deep, dark pieces of despair and hopelessness. Her dreams are not dreams at all, she's too hopeless to even think of such grandeur. A pity, indeed.

Finally, the third piece, found in the gospel of John:

"“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."
John 14:12-14

Because Jesus decided originally to reject Satan's attempts in the wildnerness (see part one), the Kingdom that He gained is one of infinite, unending splendor. For us who believe, we join Him in this indescribable kingdom. As fellow heirs with Him, He gives us a certain degree of authority to "Ask Whatever You Will." For the sake of His name, our desires can be limitless and we can trust that He will answer our requests perfectly according to His will.

We get to dream big and our dreams can count for something. And Jesus will accomplish His intended will in us and through us and for us, for His pleasure and our joy. Amen!

The Chisel (and putting out fires)

2008-02-16T20:28:00.000-08:00

The commercialization makes me nauseous. I wonder, who came up with this idea?

Hypothetical Scenario:
"Hey Jim..."
"Yeah, Bill?"
"So after rollin' off of my wicked high the other day, I woke up from my 42-hour slumber, and check out the dream I had..."
"This oughtta be good, Bill."
"I dreamed that there were naked babies flying all around like fairies, shooting people with arrows. And then they were in love!"

The 'Reality':
"Valentine's Day wouldn't be the same without a visit from Cupid, the winged cherub with a bow and arrow which he uses to place people into love. The origins of Cupid can be traced back to the days of the Roman Empire. Cupid is a Roman god, the symbol of passionate love. (He is the son of Venus, who remember is the Goddess of Love.) Cupid fell madly and completely in love with Psyche, whom it happened was a mortal. This did not please Venus at all and she gave Psyche a particularly hard time, consistently tempting her and driving her off. Eventually, through a small series of human faults, Psyche was tempted to look into the ‘box of beauty’ and when she did, she unleashed a deep slumber onto herself. Cupid then came to Earth and searched the world for her. He found her in her deep sleep. His love for her was so strong though that he was able to take the sleep from her and place it back into the box. Then he used an arrow to pierce her heart and awaken her." (from www.essortment.com)

So, I'm not sure who would be considered more insane, Bill or the delusional mastermind of the Roman gods...

It's funny what constitutes a holiday. Especially this one: it's about love. These days, it is rare to find anyone able to rightly define or describe love. Our society will tell us that the only way to know if you're in love is if you have sex. So one idea is sex=love. I thought that, outside of marriage, sex=fornication=lust. And even inside marriage, sex is only an expression of love, not love itself.

Love is a chisel. Prior to knowing it and enjoying the benefits of truly loving and being loved, every person is a rock-solid piece of unformed hardness. It takes tools to change that. Have you ever seen Mount Rushmore?By definition, love must be a sharp tool. The hardness of our hearts makes us to judge. It makes us to ridicule. It makes us angry and hateful and condescending. It makes us full of lust for all sorts of things. It makes us unwilling to listen or to care or to compromise. But most of all, it makes us at odds with our Creator, the God of the Universe. Our unchiseled mass of hardness creates within us a deep desire to oppose God, thereby making us enemies against Him. Only a sharp tool, pounded by a strong blunt force, is able to break off all that mess.

Today, Kattie and I attended a couples workshop all day. It had some decent insights and a few quality things to take away, but for the most part, it was a very interesting experience. To us, it seemed as though the overwhelming theme of the seminar was "How to not get divorced." That seemed very strange. There were statistics detailing divorce rates and declines in marital enjoyment, followed by ways to avoid these tragic threats of "not making it." We would have thought that instead of trying to help people to not get divorced by focusing on the factors that threaten a good and lasting marriage, one might try to show the glorious riches of such an amazing journey, thereby exciting people to pursue one that would last forever. Of course, it is good to be aware of the pitfalls, but focusing on them seems pessimistic. It's a bit discouraging and negative. Like damage control. Like putting out fires. We prefer to swim in the everlasting fountain of promise - knowing that our marriage is entrusted to Jesus who makes all things new and chisels us with the refining power of His unending love.

The other night, we were in bed waiting to fall asleep and the Lord showered us with His grace. The love that He continually shows us is a love that never fails. I could tell something had been bothering my wife all day, and it often takes her a little while to process her thoughts before she shares them with me. So as we laid there, she began to share, and Jesus began to chisel. Unbeknownst to me, I had been acting very selfishly, neglecting a very important aspect of our marriage. I simply didn't see it. But she did. As she shared it, the Lord began to soften my heart. He chiseled away part of me that was unfruitful. Proverbs 27:17 has always been a mindful verse with me, even since the early days of my journey with Jesus: "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Ever since then, our marriage has been even more enjoyable, and my wife has been all the more beautiful to me. Love is a chisel.

The beauty of all this is that it chiseled Jesus all the way down until there was no more to chisel. The indescribably marvelous picture above, called la Pieta, was sculpted by Michelangelo, and now resides in the Vatican. A striking reminder of the power of this chisel called love, Jesus personifies it. He was chiseled so much, worn down all the way, that He became the most renowned and refined piece of art that God has ever shown to man. "No greater love has a man than this: that he would lay down his life for his friends." Jesus did just that. And He likewise imparts that same empowering love to us by refining us by it. Marriage is not like putting out fires. It's like becoming an intricately detailed sculpture for all to see the truly amazing handiwork of God.

Arrows kill. Love is a chisel.

Chocolate: The Indulgence of Many

2008-02-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna lie, I love chocolate. This morning, I ate more chocolate than I'd like to admit, and that's saying something for this choco-holic. Today and tomorrow mark Chocolate Fest 2008 held at the World Forestry Center here in Portland.

We decided to make a family event of it and go enjoy some of the sweetest delicacies around. And we were certainly amazed. First of all, we drove through the rain to get to the MAX (Portland's light rail public transportation system) station so that we wouldn't have to deal with the horrors of parking when we arrived at the renowned Chocolate Fest. But when we got there, it was snowing like crazy!

Now snow is not typically a characteristic of Portland - rain is. But since the Chocolate Fest was held at the World Forestry Center which is at a higher elevation, we got some snow! And lots of it. Of course, we threw snowballs and I enjoyed some of what I like to call "Extreme Walking."

We marveled at all of the festivities and varieties of chocolate that they had. There were chocolate-covered strawberries,

the world-renowned Fountain of Chocolate,

and even a new world record for a piece of chocolate: a 243-pound truffle made by this creative chef. Are you kidding me? A piece of chocolate that is almost twice my weight??? Now that's ridiculous. But cool. They had white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate-covered cherries, chocolate-covered beef jerky and chocolate beef rub for grilling (what?!?!), chocolate-covered blueberries, lots of assorted chocolate fudge, a spray paint-covered woman who was supposed to be a ladybug (what?!?!? again), chocolate milk, cocoa popcorn, exfoliating chocolate mud body wrap from a local day spa, chocolate spreads, African chocolate, South American chocolate, North American chocolate, and even a flute player for ambience. Of course, there were also wine samples and other assorted chocolate accessories, including a balloon artist wearing a balloon hat. Now that's a chocolate party! It was fun, but now my belly aches. I guess this is the prequel to the Super Bowl party, eh? Maybe. Maybe not.

Go Giants!

We Are the Breath of Each Other

2008-01-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

Back in Morocco, we were such a close, tight-knit group. The culture of community there was like none other that I have experienced. So coming back to the Western philosophy of independence was tough. Attempting to make the transition back into "church" as it is here in the States has been a struggle for us. For the past years spent in Morocco, our lifeline was our intimate Home Group who faithfully supported each other through thick and thin. But since our reentry back into the States, it has been exceedingly difficult to connect in such a profound way. And it may be tragically true that we may never again have such a close community. The Lord only knows.

However, we are hopeful. The new group of believers that we have chosen to join gives us great anticipation in regaining this closeness that we so desire. It has truly been interesting to observe our need for this type of nearness to one another. You have heard it said that "man is not meant to be an island." Even more than that, we believe that man is meant to be a brother, and a son, and a father, and an uncle. He is meant to be part of a family. Without this, he suffocates.

God has spoken to us a lot lately through a family. This family's name is Red Sea Church, a humble group of people that have been connected deeply by the unity of Jesus. As a family, we have been welcomed with loving, open arms and are enjoying rejoicing with our brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, and other relatives here in Portland.

It is such a far-reaching and meaningful truth that we are the breath of each other. In other words, without each other, we suffocate. We can no longer breathe. We can no longer grow. And we can no longer be truly alive. Kattie and I have found renewed aliveness lately in reconnecting with our family here. It has taken us over six months to do so, but the Lord has provided much grace in leading us into His loving presence with these people. By no means are they perfect. And by no stretch of the imagination are they the best. But they are family -- no matter how dysfunctional. And family is where life happens. It is good. It is good to remember this.

I think that the essence of being truly present and being intentionally living life on purpose in a place means putting down roots and finding a family to be with -- for however long life takes us wherever *here* may be. We have been reminded of that a couple of times lately. It is not good enough for us to simply look forward to our return to Africa in order for our lives to count for something. Our lives are supposed to count here and now, wherever here is and however long now takes. In Portland and in Africa. It is a sin for us to waste this time here and do nothing with all these glorious gifts that God has given us, simply for the sake of "doing good later in Africa." And so we receive the rebuke and go along with this family who have all similarly been rebuked one way or another, and we live life with them, serving the people around us, fully alive here and now.

And we breathe the fresh air of togetherness.

If I were the Devil...

2008-01-20T17:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not a Hollywood fan, but I keep up on the news enough to know what's going on. In the past few years, several actors/actresses have died from drug overdoses, the most recent being Heath Ledger. Many people (maybe most people) aspire to the lives lived by these "stars." The lights, glamor, cars, clothing, and cash attract people into thinking that the lifestyles of these stars is what we "commoners" should strive for. And people buy into this... Hollywood, like the rest of society is plagued by abuse of all sorts (drugs, alcohol, spouses, children, men, women....), divorce, disrespect, lack of integrity, and the list goes on...and on... Our attention is drawn to it so much, magazines in the supermarket aisle are plastered with it, nighttime TV shows are centered around it, and the Internet seems devoted to it too. So why is it that society seems to be spiraling downward so fast? To many of us, sin is the obvious reason. But sin has always been present (since that whole apple in the garden thing..). So why now? Why so much? When I heard the following song the other day, it struck me as a pretty good explanation...

If I Were
by Andy Gullahorn

If I were the devil, I wouldn’t wear red
I wouldn’t have horns or a pitchfork
I wouldn’t breathe fire ‘cause it might give me away
But if I were the devil, you’d never know
I’d befriend you quick and corrupt you slow
So you don’t notice until it’s far too late

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

If I were the devil, I’d spend all day
Lowering standards of what’s OK
To think, to say, to watch on your TV
I’d break down the value of promises kept
And fade out truth ‘til there’s nothing left
Except gossip and lies popping up as thick as weeds

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

I might not be as foreign as you think
‘Cause I wouldn’t only show my evil side
I’ve got the time and patience just to wait
And steal your soul just one sin at a time
Like I would, if I were

No, I’m not the devil, but if I was
I’d take God’s people and split ‘em up
To keep their minds off who they’re called to be
So they’re no longer fighting over living or dead
It’s “is it the body or just bread?”
While all the unfed die hungry on the street

If I were the devil
If I were the devil

I might not be as foreign as you think
‘Cause I wouldn’t only show my evil side
I’ve got the time and patience just to wait
And steal your soul just one sin at a time
Like I would, if I were

I’d make moms and dads that never stick around
Pain so bad you have to drink to drown
And guilt so I can kick you when you’re down
And I would, if I were

If I were the devil, I wouldn’t wear red
And I wouldn’t breathe fire ‘cause it might give me away.....

Just a thought...

Like No Other: Sacred and Holy

2008-01-19T17:16:00.000-08:00

Jim and Sarah

Evangelist turned and sat down on a rock beside the road. He seemed to be waiting and resting until the next conversation. From where I stood I could see a couple heading toward us. They seemed to be arguing, and not too quietly either.

Evangelist stood up as they came closer and approached them. They were so involved in their quarrel they didn't see him until he spoke to them.

"Good afternoon," Evangelist said. "May I help you?"

The man looked up, startled. "Well, yes! You could start by minding your own business."

Evangelist smiled. "I beg your pardon. There was no indication that you desired your conversation to be kept secret."

At this the woman blushed and apologized. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to broadcast our difficulties. You can't help us. I don't think anyone can help us."

"I don't know if that is true. What are your names?"

The woman responded, "My name is Sarah. This is my future ex-husband, Jim. Who are you?"

"My name is Evangelist. I travel on the road, waiting to help people in situations like yours."

Sarah glanced at her husband, who was still scowling, and asked if he wanted to talk with Evangelist. He didn't look to happy about it, but agreed.

Evangelist began by asking how long they had been married, and how long they had been unhappy together. They responded that they had been married about three years, and both agreed that about six months into the marriage things had started to go downhill. Evangelist asked them what they argued about and learned that they argued about everything.

Evangelist then asked them if they wanted good advice or good news.

At this Jim looked up, appearing interested. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that there are two approaches to take in helping couples with troubled marriages. One is to tell them what they're doing wrong. The unhappy couple is told, 'Do this, don't do that.' This is the good advice approach. The other is to tell them of someone who can help them by giving them the power to do what is right. This is the good news approach."

Evangelist looked at Sarah. "Have you read any books on how to have a happy marriage?"

Sarah laughed. "I have read so many books I can't remember them all. There have been books on finances, sex, communication, intimacy, and openness." She glared at Jim. "He hasn't read any of them."

Evangelist ignored her last comment and asked if any of the books had helped.

"Well, I learned a lot."

"But that's not what I asked. Have they helped? Are you happier or not?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you learned things in the books that were good, but that you didn't have the power to put into practice?"

"Yes, that happens a lot."

"So you have received much good advice, and no good news?"

"Yes."

Here Evangelist turned to Jim and asked what he thought of the books.

Jim said he avoided them for two reasons. "They tell me what I need to do, and I already know more than I am able to do. If I can't choke down what I already have on my plate, why should I fill it up with more?"

Evangelist asked for his second reason.

"Well, one of the things we fight about a lot is the fact that Sarah wants me to be more of a leader--to show more initiative. Then she gives me all this stuff to read. She wants me to be a leader--as long as she gets to lead me into it."

At this Sarah started to sputter, but Evangelist motioned to her, and she became quiet.

"Did you understand the distinction I made between good advice and good news?"

Jim answered, "Yes. But there is a problem with what you say. Anything you tell us would have to go into the good advice category. We are the only two people in this marriage, and if it is going to be done, we will have to do it. And we don't seem to have the ability."

Jim then turned to go, but stopped when Evangelist asked, "What would you say if I told you that the problem with your marriage is that there are only two people in it?"

Sarah began to look upset. "You're not talking about open marriage, are you? Seeing someone else?"

Evangelist laughed. "Yes, but not the way you think. I am talking about God. If God were in your lives, you would have the power to do what He requires of you."

"How can that make any difference? We have religious friends who are every bit as unhappy as we are."

"I wasn't referring to a religion empty of a relationship with God. Most religious people use their religion as a source of good advice, and the good advice only condemns them when they fail. This mistake is even made by professing Christians, who should know better."

"So how is your message any different? Are you saying that the good advice is bad?"

"Not at all." Evangelist turned and pointed to an apple tree beside the road. "Do you see this tree? Does it produce apples or not?"

Jim laughed. "Of course it does."

"Does it produce apples because it is an apple tree, or does it try to produce apples in an attempt to become an apple tree?"

"The apples are a result of what the tree is."

Evangelist then pointed to a small bush beside the road. "Can this bush become an apple tree by producing apples?"

"Of course not."

"Suppose it tried to. What would you say to it?"

Sarah interrupted. "I suppose you have a point in all this?"

Evangelist nodded. "What would you say?"

"I would say the attempt was futile."

"Would this mean that you disliked apples?"

"Certainly not. It only means that I know that apples are not grown on bushes."

"Just so. In the same way, the good advice you have received is truly good. But you do not have the power to put it into practice. You are a bush trying to produce apples."

"What can be done about it?"

"There is someone who has the authority and power to change you. He does so when you come to Him on the basis of the death and resurrection of His Son."

Both Jim and Sarah seemed to be following the argument, so Evangelist went on.

"Marriage does not change what you are. It does, however, amplify what you are. This is why so many have trouble in marriage. When they come into an intimate relationship with another person, their self-centeredness is amplified many times over. No amount of marriage counseling can change that. A marriage can only be transformed when the individuals in that marriage are transformed. You cannot have your marriage transformed until each of you as individuals come to God through Christ. Then, as a result, the marriage will be changed. The good news must come first, and then the good advice. Until then, the only value that good advice has is that it reveals to you how far short of God's requirements you fall."

Jim and Sarah stepped back for a moment and talked quietly. Then they turned and thanked Evangelist. Jim said, "There is much in what you say. We need some time to think it over, but we will be back." At this, they went on. As they left, their conversation was subdued. It was clear that this approach to marriage was not going to have the same effect as the other things they had tried. This time, things would be different.

-Douglas Wilson
(from Persuasions: A dream of reason meeting unbelief.)

It is heartbreaking to see what has become of the idea of marriage these days in postmodern society. A couple of things really bother me about how savagely so many people treat this wonderful, sacred thing that God has given us. In search of the happiness that every human being wants, the collateral damage inflicted upon the holy covenant of marriage is unspeakable.

Often times, I wonder if Hollywood may be a microcosm of our American culture as a whole. Or, at least, it's easier to see since the lives of its inhabitants are constantly in the spotlight. Anyway, I just heard the story of Eddie Murphy and his new "wife". After only two weeks of marriage, they're calling it quits. Nice. That sure does improve the image of the institution of marriage in this country. I guess marriage is just like anything else: if it gets too hard, just quit. No longer does the saying, "Quitters Never Win" hold any sort of value to people these days. Or maybe it doesn't matter so much who is a winner and who is a loser. No wait, we don't want anybody to be a loser because it hurts their feelings too much. No longer is there even a definition for loser because it is too politically incorrect to call someone that. So, more and more people these days are not even bothering with marriage, as co-habitation is the popular fad now. At the least, even if considering marriage, a couple engages in co-habitation just to "make sure he/she is the right one." Then when asked the question, "So how is married life treating you?" after they did make it official, the response is usually something like, "Well, it's not much different." Wow, what a tragedy! This first thing that bothers me so much is the delusion of the sanctity of marriage.

Then there are those that, in a quest to satisfy the appetite for happiness, search for alternative ways to be "married". For the ones who disregard God, there are civil unions that make it legal, excluding Him. For the ones who ignore God and His original design for men and women, there are domestic partnerships that make it acceptable, in spite of Him. For the ones who are simply unsatisfied with only one person, there is such a thing as Open Marriage that includes more than two people, thereby defiling the entire thing. And for the ones who look for the easy way out, there are prenuptial agreements so that no one is cheated out of his/her possessions. Adultery is a problem. Divorce is commonplace. Working things out is taboo and too hard. This second thing that bothers me so much is the weakening of the commitment and perversion of the sanctity of marriage.

Yes, it is true that God's plan for every marriage is happiness. But...

"Marriage is meant to be a miniature of heaven—a
fragment of the celestial blessedness, let down into
this world.

Marriage is meant to be a little sanctuary, into which
husband and wife may flee from earth's storms and
dangers, where in love's shelter, their hearts fed with
affection's daily bread—they may dwell in quiet peace.

Marriage is meant to be a shelter in which, covered
from the frosts of the world and shielded from its cold
and tempests—two lives may grow together into richest
beauty, realizing their sweetest dreams of happiness,
blending in whatever things are true, whatever things
are pure, and attaining the finest possibilities of godly
character.

Marriage is meant to be a holy ark, floating on the wild
floods of human life—like Noah's ark on the deluge,
bearing to heaven's gates, to the harbor of glory—the
lives which God has shut within its doors.

A godly marriage is a little nook in the very heart of
God, where faithful souls are held close to the Father's
heart, and carried safely, amid dangers and sorrows, to
the home above."

-J.R. Miller
(from The Marriage Altar)

For those who keep it pure, sacred, and holy, when asked the question, "So how is married life treating you?" the response is very different. It also is pure, sacred, and holy: "It is far better than I ever expected. I am now in a place that I could otherwise never be: in the arms of my spouse, like in the arms of my God."

Torn

2008-01-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

We live in a fallen world. So many things are backwards these days. My wife, Kattie, was channel surfing the other day and came across a weird combination of TV shows -- imagine that! On one channel she saw two women gearing up to go fishing as professional fisherwomen. On the next channel, she saw two men dicing vegetables on their own cooking show. Odd, right? Well, that seems to be quite acceptable, and actually an increasing norm in these days of precautionary political correctness.

It seems that more and more these days, roles are reversed and we wonder why things keep spiraling downward into the erosion of our culture. In contrast to my opinion, some would say that our culture is not eroding, but rather, advancing as people are becoming more and more liberated in their own lifestyles, regardless of the roles that men and women have been designed to carry out since the beginning of time. "We are becoming more sophisticated as a people," they say. We have all of our medical and technological advances, our progressive thinking and philosophy, yet freedom of expression and speech is reserved only for those who are liberating themselves from the captivity of human design. The standard that we once had is now the opposition to the standard we now have.

The influence of the world and the selfishness within it has corrupted our minds and hearts. It has permeated us; thus, we are broken.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
1 John 2:15-17

As people live among each other, there are so many lifestyles, so many choices made, and so many different perspectives of the way things ought to be. Of course, I have my viewpoint. The guy next to me may not share it. Now, I believe that my ethical and moral viewpoints are correct since they align with the Bible, but for me to outrightly impose these views upon the guy next to me in a judgmental, harsh way is to tell him that I don't really love him at all.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.... And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
1 John 4:7-12, 21

Someone very close to Kattie and I, a true friend, lives a lifestyle that is contrary to the teachings of the Bible, and therefore creates a feeling within us that is inescapable: we are torn. We want to love this dear friend, and hopefully we are, but our hearts break to love someone whose lifestyle is something that will never fully satisfy, no matter how much they hope it will. Their rationale for living this lifestyle is that it "makes me happy." If this is true, then our definition of happiness is far from the actual reality of it. And what's more important anyway: to be happy or to be holy?

The Way of Wisdom

"Wisdom has built her house;
she has hewn her seven pillars.
She has slaughtered her beasts; she has mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
She has sent out her young women to call
from the highest places in the town,
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
To him who lacks sense she says,
“Come, eat of my bread
and drink of the wine I have mixed.
Leave your simple ways, and live,
and walk in the way of insight.”

Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
For by me your days will be multiplied,
and years will be added to your life.
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself;
if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

The Way of Folly

The woman Folly is loud;
she is seductive and knows nothing.
She sits at the door of her house;
she takes a seat on the highest places of the town,
calling to those who pass by,
who are going straight on their way,
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
And to him who lacks sense she says,
“Stolen water is sweet,
and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
But he does not know that the dead are there,
that her guests are in the depths of Sheol."
Proverbs 9

Oh, how easy it is to be enticed by the way of fools! It seems like the world is inundated with so many outlets for foolishness, that the way of wisdom is almost totally covered by the overgrowth of the loudness of Folly. There is homosexuality, abortion, corruption, greed, lust, and the like... But whoever talks about honor, integrity, loyalty, conviction, and conscience any more? It is easy to submit to the weakness of folly, insisting on being simple and lacking sense. It is far more difficult to live in wisdom, with much insight.

But here's the tension: is it folly for a wise person to concede to the foolishness of the fool? In other words, is it okay to say nothing to our friend who is living a lifestyle of folly? Or, is it wisdom to try to convince this friend that these ways are wrong and will deserve a severe punishment if not corrected? Should we impose our convictions on our friend because "it's for your own good"? Where's the balance between standing for what's right and good and loving those who scoff at it? That's a hard question -- perhaps a mystery whose answer only God knows.

Here's what we do... We love them. And it utterly breaks our hearts that the decisions being made are foolish ones influenced by the "desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of possessions" are the fleeting and unfulfilling pleasures of this world. These things are unsatisfying and unsatisfactory. And God is not pleased. Yet He still loves, and is full of mercy. May that very mercy be poured out, so that Wisdom may one day be the way that is followed by the friends we so dearly love. We don't force the absolute standard of the Bible upon them, so as to fuel their scoffing and repulse them from the Truth. Instead, we reply to their questions with the gentleness and respect of that very Truth only when first approached by them. And we love them, praying for them with great hope.

On the Way

2008-01-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

Another year gone, another one here. The year 2007 was a good one, full of many life-changing happenings. One chapter closed, and another opened. Our time in Morocco came to a screeching halt with the end of the 2006-2007 school year, and we began our hiatus back in the United States in June. After about six months of transitioning, Kattie and I are finally getting back into the American lifestyle -- I think. We often find ourselves nostalgic in our remembrance of great times in Morocco, with great affection for those amazing people that quickly became our friends there. Sometimes we long to be back "home" in Africa, but in the meantime we must wait and prepare to go back in a few years. they say that home is where your heart is. And the years leading up to this one have all climaxed to this point in our lives, which will surely prepare us for and enlighten us to the next steps that we must take.

Surely 2008 will be an important stepping stone in the large scheme of things, that is, the crazy plan that God has for our lives. At the end of this past year, God drew my heart very near to Kattie's and united us in marriage, a very important step in being all the more prepared to return to our calling in Africa. This year will certainly prove to continue these steps in teaching us how to be married and reveal to us where we are being led. For the time being, I will continue teaching in the Portland, OR area and Kattie will continue with the day care, while we hope to return to Texas and Adam's family for a while.

All in all, our lives are the Lord's and everything in them. This is His Kingdom and He will have His way. We just look forward to the amazing things that He will teach and show us along the way. And there will be more life-changing happenings, like the expansion of our families (Kattie's sisters are planning on having more children, Adam's niece is getting bigger, and Adam's brother is getting married in July). A major focus of our time back here in the States prior to our return to Africa will be focused toward enjoying our family. I'm sure it will be good. And then... We're on the way back to Africa. Always on the way...

The Greatest Celebration of Them All!

2007-12-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called.
Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many
were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God
chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the
strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the
despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify
the things that are, so that no one may boast before
Him." 1 Corinthians 1:26-29

Without this effectual call—there is no going to heaven.

This effectual call, is a GRACIOUS call. It is the fruit and
product of free grace! That God should call some—and
not others; that some should be taken—and others left;
that one should be called who is of a more wicked
disposition—while another of a sweeter temper, is
rejected; here is free grace! That the poor should be
rich in faith, heirs of a kingdom (James 2:5), and the
nobles and great ones of the world for the most part
rejected; this is free and rich grace! "Even so, Father,
for so it seemed good in Your sight!" (Matthew 11:26)

That under the same sermon one should be effectually
wrought upon—while another is no more moved than a
dead man with the sound of music; that one should hear
the Spirit's voice in the Word—while another does not
hear it; that one should be softened and moistened with
the influence of heaven—while another, like Gideon's dry
fleece, has no dew upon him; behold here distinguishing,
sovereign grace!

What is the cause of this—but the free grace of God! It
is all enameled and interwoven with free grace!
Those who are monuments of God's mercies, will be
trumpets of His praise. "So that no one may boast
before Him!" 1 Corinthians 1:29
Thomas Watson, "A Divine Cordial"

The single most memorable moment of my life will remind me of this amazing grace of God tomorrow. The third day of December commemorates the seventh anniversary of my re-birthday. It was the moment that the effectual call of God became a reality in my life and His grace began to transform me. Since December 3, 2000, my life has never been the same and I have been led to do things I never imagined doing. I have been a world traveler, I have experienced the most rewarding things a life could possess, I have met and married a wonderful woman, and it all keeps getting better. In the frequent times of distress, I am continually reminded that these sufferings are so slight and small compared to the immeasurable riches that await the followers of Jesus for an eternity to come. I have been graciously been renamed as one of those and can only rejoice in the indescribable grace of God. Tomorrow's gonna be good.

Goodness

2007-12-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it."
Ephesians 3:19

"The grace of God is the unhindered, wondrous, boundless
love of His heart, poured out upon His people in a countless
variety of ways, without stint or measure--not according to
our deserving, but according to His infinite heart of love! This
I cannot understand--so unfathomable are its heights and
depths! God's love is infinitely tender, and self-sacrificing,
and devoted, and patient, and eager to lavish its best of
gifts and blessings, upon the objects of His love.

Put together all the tenderest love you know of, the deepest
love you have ever felt, and the strongest love that has ever
been poured out upon you--and heap upon it all the love of
all the human hearts in the world, and then multiply it by
infinity--and you will begin, perhaps, to have some faint
glimpse of the love and grace of God towards His people!"
Author Unknown

The reward is here and the reward is to come. I had always hoped to get married, but wasn't sure it would actually happen. Considering God's calling on my life, I often doubted that I would be able to find an equally unique and devoted woman to share my purpose in life. Now it's here. The LORD has crowned me with an amazing wife who shares my passion and zeal to live in Africa long-term. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

And married life far exceeds my expectations. The wedding itself was a great celebration, but I never imagined how enjoyable being married would actually be. I figured I would learn a lot about selfless living, love, partnership and communication, and cooperation, but in these past three weeks since the wedding, there are no words to describe the depths of spiritual and emotional value that my wife and I have obtained in being together and loving each other. The deepest of connections that has been formed between Kattie and I is something that I have never experienced before and will likely never experience again aside from the relationship I have with Jesus. It's times like last night when the satisfaction of our unification is truly becomes a reality: we were laying in bed together, unable to sleep, when we broke out into songs of praise simply because our God has been so good to us. It was especially enjoyable because my wife didn't even make fun of my dismal singing voice -- it was pure.

Since agreeing to spend the rest of our lives together, Kattie and I have always committed to ourselves and to God that we would be honored to worship God in loving each other. I think that's the greatest part of this whole deal: for those who trust Jesus, all of life is worship. That's why we are commanded to do all things for the glory of God. But what better way to worship than to love someone with all your heart! If this thing called marriage is to represent the way Jesus loves His people, then what an honor it is for us who enter in to such a sacred covenant! We're surely enjoying it, and, by the grace of God, it will only get better. His goodness will continue to prevail.

gospel: thrive; flourish = prosperity? huh?!?

2007-10-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.”
Deuteronomy 29:29

“Mysterious ways,” they say. That’s how God works. And it is certainly interesting the way that works. A few examples of creative work in His people are: the Israelites, that is, God’s chosen people, were sent into generations of captivity in Egypt just so that they could be delivered from it – and then there’s the whole parting of the Red Sea thing. Job, a faithful and righteous man lost all his possessions and his health, just so that his faith could be tested and refined. Isaiah ran around naked like a wild man for three years simply to prove a point to Cush and Egypt, and Ezekiel lied down on his sides for over a year as a symbol of punishment for Israel and Judah. Ananias and Sapphira sold a piece of their own property in order to donate most of the proceeds to the work of the church leaders, but were stricken down dead because they didn’t give it all away. And there are so many more.

Often times, we don’t know what God is doing or is going to do. It’s His little secret, He doesn’t have to tell us, as He has the right to have those secrets. But the things we do know, the things we have already witnessed from Him, are ours. They are His precedent to us. We can have them, use them, and learn about the character of our God from them. The most important question to ask as the revealed will of God unfolds in our world is, “Why?” It is not the “Why?” that questions God and challenges His infinite wisdom in the way He rules all things. Rather, it is the “Why?” that longs for a deeper meaning and begs for an elaboration on the things that He’s doing and His reasons for doing them. The tone of the question asked is crucial.

The following has already been revealed, and may shed some light on some of God’s “secret things”.

For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, and repays to their face those who hate him, by destroying them. He will not be slack with one who hates him. He will repay him to his face. You shall therefore be careful to do the commandment and the statutes and the rules that I command you today.

And because you listen to these rules and keep and do them, the LORD your God will keep with you the covenant and the steadfast love that he swore to your fathers. He will love you, bless you, and multiply you. He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your wine and your oil, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock, in the land that he swore to your fathers to give you. You shall be blessed above all peoples. There shall not be male or female barren among you or among your livestock. And the LORD will take away from you all sickness, and none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which you knew, will he inflict on you, but he will lay them on all who hate you.
Deuteronomy 7:6-15

Ah, what hope and what despair! Hope for the one who obeys and despair for the one who rebels. The hopeful part is the piece that makes our hearts feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It makes us smile because it is happy and comfortable and we get a bunch of stuff. But it may be strange for some to hear that God “repays to their face those who hate him, by destroying them. He will not be slack with one who hates him. He will repay him to his face.” When asking the “Why?” question, there are typically two drastically different responses: for the one who obeys God, it is, “God, I trust you, so would you show me what you’re doing?” but for the one who rebels against God, it is, “God, how could you, a good and loving God, let things like this happen to good people?” The first response enables the questioner to possess a patient, hopeful serenity that the second questioner may never attain. Instead, the second questioner may wrestle with anger and resentment toward God. But this ought not be a surprise to us, since every person, regardless of his or her present spiritual condition, at one time has rebelled against God and perhaps asked similar questions full of anger and resentment. It is only by the grace of God alone that the aim of questioning, for some of us, has become different.

It’s far more interesting to me, however, to observe how this plays out in the Western church. The Trinity Broadcasting Network, commonly known as TBN, includes some programming that is often a grossly blasphemous portrayal of the Biblical lifestyle and it honestly makes me sick. By in large, born out of an increasing desire to be entertained through television programming, there is an interesting movement within the church that expects a sort of blessing from God that He owes us. Exploding in the 1980s with the gaining popularity of televangelists, countless people have heard sayings like, “If you’re faithful in giving me your money, God will bless you with a new house, a better car, and your dream career.” In other words, if you pay your “church rent” on time every Sunday, you’ll get rich. It’s the easy-to-understand version of the gospel. It holds all the comfort for which we so deeply long. Well, that sounds like the most ridiculous, counterintuitive thing I’ve ever heard! If we give our money away, doesn’t that mean we are less rich?

This is called the prosperity gospel. The "prosperity gospel" is the teaching that God will reward signs of faith with health and wealth. It is also called "word faith," "name-it-and-claim-it," "health and wealth gospel" and "positive confession." It is most often found among more fundamentalist and evangelical churches, but in the last decade or so has begun spreading among Hispanic and African-American congregations.

Another aspect of this type of teaching is the inherent do-it-yourself mentality. At some point along the way, as if the Gospel could not speak for itself, some so-called Christian leaders got sidetracked and felt the need to “market” Christianity, so that it could be more user-friendly. “Of course,” the underlying idea was, “we consumerist Americans are so independent of anything outside ourselves, we can do anything—alone. We don’t need X’s help to do Y. Why would we need anyone else’s help? That’s absurd!” Now, I can see the value of living an upright life in the sight of God and working hard to get all your stuff together. We don’t want to misrepresent Jesus by living sloppy lives that reflect poor stewardship with what He’s already given us. But it seems that there has been a widespread abandonment of John the Baptist’s philosophy, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Caused by the increasing value being placed on prosperity and success, there has been a lopsided, enormous demand for self-help services permeating the upper-middle class American culture. No longer do we need to be dependent on a God that can create the universe with a mere thought. He is no longer our ever-present help in time of need, because we don’t need help. In the old days of our spiritual forefathers, the Puritans, the people had a firm, solemn understanding that a sovereign God was to be trusted to accomplish all things according to His will, however He pleased. Man’s responsibility was to make much of God, and God’s responsibility was a divinely monergistic work for Him to accomplish that which He saw fit, and He didn’t need man’s assistance, as if God Almighty were somehow incompetent in some way to fulfill His job description. That trend faded into a synergistic philosophy that stated, “If you start the work, God will surely finish it.” Now, it is almost a humanly monergistic work that goes something like this: “I can do it. God wants to make much of me. He wants me to work hard enough to be a better person with a better life and better possessions. So here are my seven steps to help myself attain success and prosperity. God will surely bless that.” Bottom line: we have traded the truth of God for a lie and worshipped created things rather than the Creator (Romans 1:21-25).

Needless to say, I have a real problem with this so-called “health and wealth gospel.” My grandmother, who was a faithful follower of Jesus that donated her time and money to the benefit others out of the faith-filled goodness of her heart, never for the purpose of receiving anything in return, died a few years ago when cancer ravaged her body. When I asked the “Why?” question, by the grace of God, I remained hopeful in His perfect purposes for His people, and continued to trust Him as the giver and preserver of my grandmother’s life. If I had truly bought into this prosperity gospel, then I would have been faced with a huge dilemma in my grandmother’s situation: she was faithful for a long time, yet she was dying a slow death full of disease – “God, why is this happening to her? What are you doing? Because she has been faithful, aren’t you supposed to make her rich and healthy? Why aren’t you doing that, God? Better yet, why are you letting this happen to such a good person?”

I know a man that believes in this “name-it-and-claim it” approach, who has an interesting story. He is a good man, an older man, probably in his seventies. A couple of years ago, his niece was diagnosed with cancer. Of course, like any concerned follower of Jesus would do, he called upon his fellow believers to pray with him for her healing. Prayer for healing is a perfectly Biblical thing to do, and every believer ought to do it. But for this man and his equally faithful friends, they expected a complete and total physical healing before everything was said and done, without exception. “Wow,” I remember thinking to myself, “I didn’t know the Holy Spirit could be ordered around like that.” A few months later, she died, and the man was devastated. But I could see it coming. And now this man’s health is deteriorating. I hope that His hope remains in the Great Healer, but not as a comfortable quick healing fix, but as a protector and sustainer of everlasting life, not just this earthly life. God doesn’t HAVE to do this or that for anyone but Himself. He’s God. Of course, He knows our hopes and desires, our needs and pains, but it is His choice how He handles those things. And sometimes it’s a secret to us at the time, only to be revealed in hindsight. Other times, it’s a mystery that we may never uncover. Still other times, He shows us outright what He’s going to do even before He does it. Regardless of how God decides to handle the affairs of the universe, our will can never supercede His will, and never should we have the audacity to try ordering around our infinitely wise Creator. Never will the holy thoughts and perfect plans of God be thwarted.

The most appalling part of all this, though, is the fact that such teaching dilutes the real Gospel so much that it presents a miniscule depiction of the great significance of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Reducing the true Gospel to a system of self-promotion and material wealth is perhaps the most severe tragedy of all. When the Biblical version of the condition of a man’s soul is accurately conveyed, the situation in which we find ourselves is far greater than a mere poverty-prosperity paradigm. It is much more urgent, much more desperate.

See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. If you obey the commandments of the LORD your God that I command you today, by loving the LORD your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the LORD your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.
Deuteronomy 30:15-20

To reduce the Gospel down to material riches is to diminish its power. Deuteronomy 30 doesn’t seem to care much about money or material possessions. It’s about obedience, loyalty, allegiance, and honor – to God alone. The possession to which the Bible refers is the everlasting reward that God grants to His faithful people, not the transient, fading, unsatisfying riches of this world. These eternal possessions are things that cannot be taken away by the difficulties of this life or the enemies of God. It is an unshakable Kingdom that He rules, and a faithful covenant that He keeps. To imagine our reward as faithful followers of Jesus as temporal success and wealth in this life paints such a dull, boring picture of God’s power and grace. The eternal riches that await the Faithful far outweigh any sort of riches that can be accumulated in an infinite amount of lifetimes on earth. Moses spoke with great anticipation when the Israelites were approaching the Promised Land. But he never got to taste it. He did get to taste a land far greater than that. The abundant life within the heavenly land that we are to possess is too grand and great and deep and good for us to grasp with our tiny imaginations of the good places we think God has prepared for us with Him for eternity. And it doesn’t include lots of money, big houses, and fancy cars. No self-help seminars are necessary there – we have God’s help then. And He is the one that will cure every disease, wipe away every tear, and give the best gifts we could ever hope for! Prosperity is in the Gospel, but only at the expense of the blood of Jesus, only by the grace-filled faith given by Jesus, and only for the fame of Jesus.

What's Our Response?

2007-10-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

"Curse God and die" or "The LORD gives and the LORD takes away"? It is the crucial decision that we must make in response to tragedy. Consider the following situations...

A single mother of three earns a hard living as a teacher, often having a difficult time providing both the emotional support and financial support that her fatherless children require. At ten, seven, and five years old at the time of the divorce, many questions loomed over her at the daunting task of raising her children alone. But today, they are all adults and the personification of satisfying joy in her life. The oldest boy is a successful Boys' Basketball Coach and High School Math Teacher, the middle daughter is an incredible married mother of a beautiful one-year-old daughter, and the youngest boy is engaged to be married soon and plans on living a life of service in Africa for the rest of his life. She has reason to be proud: she has done a great job as "Mom." But all of a sudden, as she feels in perhaps the best physical shape in years, she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Why, O God, does this happen? She deserves better, doesn't she?

A faithful husband and father of three teenage boys is adored by his family. He loves his wife as God requires, he teaches his sons to follow Jesus, and displays the goodness of his God in all relationships. He leads Boy Scouts and camping trips with his sons and their friends. He handles the finances of a private American school in North Africa and leads his household well. He makes sure to take care of his wife, taking intentional time to spend alone with her. On top of all that, he's an athlete who runs and plays basketball -- in great shape for his age. And all of a sudden he has skin cancer. How could this happen to such a faithful father, husband, and worshipper of God? Or, rather, why would God allow such a tragedy happen to such a good person?

He was a wealthy family man with seven sons and three daughters, yet he shared his possessions graciously with his friends. Everyone thought him a great man in his day, as he made sure to put upright character and impeccable integrity at the top of his list of valued priorities. In his time and culture, he treated his servants remarkably well and made sure that his friends knew that they were valuable to him. Then one day, out of the blue, a band of violent rebels killed all of his servants, a wildfire burned up all his livestock, and a violent storm destroyed his house with all of his ten children inside. Everything was lost except his wife. Even as the man began to mourn his loss, he became ill with a great sickness, a skin disease that produced boils all over his body. Of all men, should God not reward this one above all? Why does punishment afflict this man instead? What a tragedy!

The preceding true stories are only a few examples of countless situations that seem to create a conflict within the hearts of many people wondering where God is in the midst of difficult circumstances such as these. The first story is the most recent: it is the story of my mother who was diagnosed with breast cancer this past week. The second story is of a friend of mine, Tony, who was diagnosed with skin cancer last month. And the final story is of Job, as described in the Bible.

In such situations, we are faced with a difficult decision to make. I have always observed that people could react in one of two ways regarding these tragedies of life. 1) Become angry with God that he would allow such an injustice to happen or 2) Turn to God as the only source of hope and comfort in such a great time of need. I have seen both take place right before my eyes. The first option is a miserable one to witness. The second option affects a demeanor in the person that is utterly indescribable in the awesomeness of it.

In the first two stories mentioned above, they are still dramas waiting to unfold in the multifaceted wisdom of God. In the final story, since it is a story that is now in the past, I believe we can learn from it.

So here's how it went down in the story of Job... After Job had lost all of his possessions and was now wallowing in the misery of his physical affliction as an outcast, his wife approached him: "Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”" Wow! What a response! A response like Job's receives commendation, as the writer of his biography states, "In all this Job did not sin with his lips." I cannot imagine how Job could have such a reaction to what had just become of his life, if it could still be called that. The only explanation is that the grace of God enabled him to make such remarks, since in and of himself, Job might seem incapable of such profound righteousness and wisdom. It would seem like his wife has a great argument -- but he didn't think so.

Even as Job went on to lament his predicament, and he received shoddy advice from his friends, never did he recant his trust in the sovereign goodness of God. Upon losing his family and possessions, perhaps the most profound and timely words were uttered from Job's lips: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." In other words, "no matter what happens to me, no matter what I gain or what I lose, I will praise God because He is worth it." Relative happiness or comfort was, to Job, of little consequence when it came to the ultimate, supreme, and absolute glory of God. God Almighty is to be blessed, regardless of the calamities that befall us.

I remember the choice that my friend, Shantra, made about a year ago when she was caring for her dying mother -- by all accounts, she blessed the name of the Lord, and it was counted to her as righteousness. Never did she sin with her lips, and God was certainly pleased, I'm sure. But now, at this very moment in my life, my family members and I have this very choice before us. So does Tony and his family, along with countless others who find themselves in similar situations. We must make this choice because a tragedy has befallen us. So I beg the question, What's our response? What choice will we make? My hope is that the same grace that God gave to Job he will also give to me and others like me, that we will bless the name of the Lord, regardless of the tragedies in our lives.

And may the healing of our God be infused into the ailing bodies of those battling life-threatening diseases. To Him be the glory forevermore!

Blood on the Altar, or Splatterings of Imperfection -- Stage Two.

2007-09-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true that the demand of righteousness from God would be satisfied by a sacrifice of some other innocent martyr of justice, instead of the guilty party. But the repetition of sacrificing animals has not become the once-for-all sufficiency needed to pay the immeasurable penalty due the sinfulness of men. There must be a necessary better sacrifice.

STAGE TWO -- "Better things have come: The Reality."

And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.
1 Peter 1:17-21

Any time I share with anyone about some of the things that have happened to me in my life, I find myself awestruck at how wonderful it is to truly know God. The drastic constrast between what I deserve every moment of my life and what I am actually receiving is utterly indescribable. Like when I was chatting with a teenager about what I have been doing these last few years -- I seem to be often beside myself as if watching it all unfold in real time, absorbing all of the goodness of God as I describe it as a story. Praise God that she was also encouraged by the tale that He has so graciously woven into my life.

My imperfections, all of my sin, are splattered bright and wide across the sides of the altar of sacrifice. But it is another's blood that covers my sin and pays for it all, that I might go free. Formerly, it was the blood of bulls or sheep or goats. Presently, it has become a much more precious and enduring sacrifice: the Lamb of God. To meditate on the idea of such an act endows a humility upon me that drops me to my face in prostrate adoration of such a holy plan of an all-sufficient God.

The shadow of times past has become the noonday of a brighter existence. The precondition of true freedom, namely, animal sacrifices, has been superceded by the fully-atoning sacrifice of Jesus on His killing stone, the altar of the cross.

Although my own imperfect humanity tempts me to writhe in all of my filth, willingly time and time again, I have yet been ransomed once for all! Wretched man that I am, yet He has foreknown, as the all-wise and all-knowing King of the Ages, that Jesus would set me free. Not only because freedom is what I desperately desire, but so that I may know that He alone is the One that has accomplished it for me. Never did He "help me" to do this or to do that so that I may become a "better" person or free myself. Never could I be able to do such an impossibility! Never could I ever be able to breathe on my own, much less walk, or do anything of any sort of good. But He can. He did. And He does still. He is slow to anger and quick to forgive. No matter how many times I show how imperfect and sinful I truly am, He rises up within me with the all-atoning sacrifice that forgives even the gravest of sins. That sacrifice, Jesus willingly took upon Himself, knowing in advance that I would freely enjoy Him in it for eternity.

Blood well spilt.

Blood on the Altar, or Splatterings of Imperfection -- Stage One.

2007-09-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

He is a God of justice. Altogether righteous and holy, alone He stands. None can endure His presence, severed by the breach of justice that has been so treacherously passed down from generation to generation since the Sin of Adam. Enter the need for Law. Resulting from such a rampant disregard for all things right and good, an instatement of divine authoritative suppression had to be enforced as a basic requirement of men. Finding themselves in desperate need for rescuing, drowning in sin, men have passively longed for peace. So God has made a way for it, and God has given it.

STAGE ONE -- "The Shadow."

Laws for Peace Offerings
"If his offering for a sacrifice of peace offering to the Lord is an animal from the flock, male or female, he shall offer it without blemish. If he offers a lamb for his offering, then he shall offer it before the Lord, lay his hand on the head of his offering, and kill it in front of the tent of meeting; and Aaron's sons shall throw its blood against the sides of the altar."
Leviticus 3:6-8

Back then, the animals had to pay, lest the entire human race be smitten from the earth entirely. Through that, God extended a little mercy toward men, the firstfruits of His creation. But today, animal rights activists would have you thrown in jail for such an inhumane act. More than just slaughtering animals, though, the early practice of sacrificing for the sake of peace must have had a more meaningful purpose. I think there is something to be said about the idea of shedding innocent blood for the guilty -- and that being the bridge of peace, justifying men before God regarding His righteous requirements. But I it's more than just a "take one for the team" approach...

Most intriguing to me is the rite of throwing the blood against the sides of the altar. What is the significance of that? At first glance, it may seem like shenanigans on the part of the priests in order to brighten up otherwise monotonous ceremonies. But what does such an act truly signify? I'm not quite sure, although many scholars may have their theories.

Here's what I think... I can still remember around this time of year, at the conclusion of Ramadan two years ago, when I was invited out into the hill country of Morocco to participate in the Feast of the Sacrifice (Eid al Adha). I remember seeing a lot of blood. It poured from the neck of a squirming sheep, vainly struggling to keep its life. The blood first became a stream and next a pool, then at once it was swept away, gone from that once vibrant life forever. So it was with the sacrifices outlined in the book of Leviticus. But the blood was kept for a reason: a life had been taken, but not without purpose. A remembrance of what once was, but had to be taken, needed to be displayed. A life once existed, but now had been snuffed out by the injustice of another -- and the payment was in blood. So it was kept and splattered across the killing stone, the altar. Smeared in crimson red was the stain of sin, atoned for by the innocent life of an animal. But not without the reckoning of justice in God's hand. God was satisfied, and man was justified -- at least, until the next life would be taken and blood once again thrown against the altar.

So what is the cost for me? How much do I have to pay in order to at least get a glimpse into the righteousness of God? Something has got to give, because God requires justice from me. I mean, that horribly judgmental attitude I had toward that beggar the other day must call for recompense. The constant grumbling and complaining about the details of life require an answer. The outright, blatant disregard for the commands of God and the deliberate sin altogether require a severe penalty on my part. What blood must be thrown? It ought to be my own. But it isn't. By the matchless mercy of God, a substitute has taken my place. But blood has been thrown against the altar nonetheless. The animal rights activists won't let me slaughter an animal, so from whom does the bloodguilt come?

The stain of my sin glares deeply and darkly upon the walls of the altar. Revealed by the confession of my broken and contrite heart, it has been splashed upon those stone blocks time and time again at the beckoning call of God Himself. The list is long. My sin is great. But the burden has been lifted and I have been justified by another's blood.

We Wrestle

2007-09-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

Jacob Wrestles with God
"And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel [meaning, 'he strives with God'], for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel [meaning, 'the face of God'], saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. "
Genesis 32:24-31

Jacob wrestled with God, grappling with Him, striving to keep his life. And somehow he prevailed, but not without a remembrance of it. For the rest of his life, Jacob, now named Israel from this encounter, was left crippled. But he was not utterly destroyed. Why not? One might think that to wrestle with God would ultimately mean suicide. Instead, Jacob was rewarded with the honor of being named by God himself a greater name than he once possessed. It is a name that would be remembered throughout the generations and even until today.

There is a difference between wrestling with God and wrestling against God. Jacob was wounded, but not destroyed. Later on in the book of Exodus, Pharoah and the Egyptians were humiliated, wounded, and finally blotted out from the earth. Jacob's heart was one that was soft and intended to be obedient to the voice and leadership of God. Pharoah's heart was continually hard and insisted on rebelling against the authority of God. One man's legacy reaches deep into the faithfulness of God and leaves an inheritance that lasts for all time. The other man's legacy reaches deep into the faithlessness of man and leaves only an example not to follow.

As I continuously evaluate my life in view of the Word of God, I hope and pray for three things in regards to the story of Jacob's wrestling. First, I can only hope for God to intervene in my life so that I may be found in a place that I am somehow striving to be more like Him and not merely standing around breathing to death. Second, when certainly does God come with His intervention, although I may wrestle with Him as Jacob did, I would receive a better name and a lasting legacy that credits Jesus for anything good flowing from me. And lastly, but perhaps the most important, I hope that I will not ever wrestle against God as He intervenes through the Holy Spirit, thereby imitating the suicide of Pharoah.

As of this moment, I wrestle. I am back from Africa and beloved Morocco, away from many people that I had grown to love in my two years there. I know that I long to be back in Africa, yet I am here in the US for a season. Much of me wants to wrestle against God and His intervening leadership in my life. I want to rebel against the Holy Spirit and disobey His perfectly wise plan for me right now. But I must not wrestle against Him. He will, however, allow me to wrestle with Him and still grant me the grace to persevere. And so I ask for a spirit of wisdom and revelation (Ephesians 1:17) that I may remain content (Philippians 4:11) in whatever situation I find myself. It is there that I will encounter the Living God and receive a legacy that lasts throughout the ages.

Engagement, Wedding Plans, and a Few Photos

2007-09-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

So, yes, it has been official for a few weeks now -- Kattie and I are engaged and planning to be married on November 9, 2007. The proposal took place in typical casual Adam fashion on Monday, August 20th. Below are a few engagement photos taken at the Pittock Mansion in Portland. It is a great spot overlooking the city, surrounded by amazing forestry that provides a great hiking experience or quiet place to get away. We just took a few photos (these really aren't the best ones).

As mentioned above, the wedding is scheduled for November 9th, in downtown Portland. Kattie and I could not be more excited! And we're not stressing so much about the planning, since we're getting a lot of help from our families. Plus, we're far more concerned with what will take place in the decades following the ceremony. I think one of the most amazing things about November 9th will be the people, as always seems to be the case. To me, it seems, no event is ever memorable if it weren't for the people involved. For this occasion, we will certainly have important friends and family in attendance from here in the US, from France, from Canada, and from Morocco. It will surely be a joyous occasion. And still there will be some beloved people that will be unable to attend. Nevertheless, our hope is that it would be an occasion that would be a great delight to our Lord Jesus.

Please pray for us as we begin this journey together.

Adjusting and Settling

2007-08-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

Wow! As August winds down, I look back at perhaps the busiest month of my life. It went a bit like this...

August 2-4: Spend some time with good friends of mine, Tim and Jo, as they celebrated their wedding in West Palm Beach, Florida.

August 4-9: Spend some time with good friends of mine, the Canner family in Baltimore and Scott, Amanda, and Kattie in our nation's capital.

August 9-12: Spend some time in Michigan meeting some of Kattie's family and friends.

August 12-16: Spend some time in Texas with some of my family and friends.

August 16-18: Take a 3-day cross-country road trip from Austin to Portland with Kattie.

August 20: Become officially engaged to Kattie and begin planning the wedding ceremony that will be November 9.

August 20-24: Begin training/orientation with Americorps for my Partnerships for Student Achievement program this year.
August 27-31: Begin teacher in-service at Glencoe High School, the school at which I will be serving.

In between all these things, Kattie and I have been organizing our future apartment, registering the car, planning on getting Oregon drivers' licenses, planning the wedding, meeting people, brainstorming ways to volunteer in Portland (we're going to attend an interest meeting at the Portland Rescue Mission Saturday morning), getting a membership at 24 Hour Fitness, getting lost all over Portland, and spending way too much money on life in general.

So, needless to say, it has been quite busy and hectic. But the Lord has remained faithful through it all, enabling us to continually worship Him through it all. No matter what is happening, wherever I am, He remains steadfast in His covenant love for me. HE IS MY ROCK.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27

To all of you who have continually prayed for me and for Kattie and supported us through whatever adventures we experienced, Thank You! Now begins another one. This is just another opportunity to join the God of the Universe, the King of the Ages, in His little sandbox to play and see what He'll accomplish. His will must most assuredly be done! And we are the beneficiaries. May His goodness truly satisfy our souls in the deepest parts.

**An updated Newsletter is in the works with specifics on the aforementioned things.**

Back in the States

2007-07-25T01:32:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a long time coming... It's taken so long, partially due to the slowness of my current dial up Internet connection! I'm not used to this. I tried to upload some photos onto this post, but it was so slow that the connection timed out. Crazy. So sorry, no photos. Maybe next time. But it's all good, I guess.

So here is what has happened in the past month:
- I returned to Texas safely, obviously, and am splitting time at my mom's house and at my dad's.
- I spent some time with my family.
- I bought a pretty cheap used car and got insurance.
- I got a job with Americorps in Portland, Oregon for the upcoming year, working with at-risk youth in a local high school.
- I visited some friends in West Texas and some family in Louisiana.
- Got a new cell phone (email me if you want the number).

And here's the upcoming plan -- August is gonna be a crazy month! On Thursday, August 2nd, I'm flying out of Austin to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to go to my buddy Tim's wedding in Palm Beach. On Saturday, August 4th, I fly out of Ft. Lauderdale to Baltimore, Maryland to join up with my friends that I met in Morocco before they return to that beloved country: Scott, Amanda, and the Canners, not to mention Kattie (the woman for whom I am moving to Portland and am hoping to marry). Kattie, Amanda, Scott, and I are planning on visiting all the "sites" in Washington, DC before Amanda and Scott return to teach another year in Casablanca. From there, I fly out of Baltimore on Thursday, August 9th to Detroit, Michigan with Kattie so I can meet her family there. Then on Sunday, August 12th, the two of us fly out of Detroit back to Austin, Texas so Kattie can meet my family. Finally after a few days in Texas, we're taking a massive road trip from Austin to Portland, Oregon where we'll be meeting up with Kattie's two sisters and living there (but not together) for this upcoming year. Lord-willing, my pastor from Morocco, Bob, and his wife Sue, will join us in Portland as well. So it should be good. With Ed and Barb Velure, who worked with us in Casablanca, already in the Portland area, it should be like a mini-reunion for us. I'm excited.

But the most exciting part is what I briefly mentioned earlier -- the fact that I'm hoping to marry (Lord-willing, of course) a beautifully incredible woman, Kattie, in 2008. I couldn't be more thrilled and grateful to my God for providing such a hopeful joy in my life. I know I have made many mistakes in my life, but there are no regrets because He has revealed Himself through it all. Therefore, I am unable to comprehend the goodness that He so abundantly lavishes upon me in granting me such an honor to take her as my wife. All honor and praise and glory be unto Jesus forevermore!

**I'll update you again when I get to Portland!**