We've all heard it before: "Desperate times call for desperate" ... "measures." Even some movies are named based on this idea. My wife says we are nowhere near desperate, and she's right.
It's been nearly three months since we took a step of obedience to follow God's leadership into Fort Wayne, Indiana. We left Texas in June after purchasing a house a few months earlier for a small cost, knowing that much renovation needed to be done. Praise God for our friend, Bob, who has so generously donated his time and skills to almost single-handedly remodel our entire house! By the grace of God, HE'S THE MAN! We also left Texas not knowing what I would be doing for work, and three months into this new journey, I'm still looking. With our finances diminishing every day and the school year already underway, I'm still yet without a teaching job. Our circumstances seem bleak, but are they?
Psalm 94:18-19
When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
I cannot recall the number of resumes and applications I have submitted, but that means nothing to the infinite wisdom of God. Although I have been to several interviews, nothing has come of it all because God would not have it happen that way. Still, He reigns, not me. And He is my God, not a job or income.
A few times, I have felt desperate, knowing that, as the husband, father, and head of the household, I am responsible to provide for my family. It weighs heavily on a man, especially one without work for his hands. Yet God knows this. He is not unfamiliar with such a situation. In my desperation, I almost gave in to the temptation of the "riches of this world" that Satan offered Jesus during his time of testing in the wilderness (see Matthew 4:8-10). I went to an "interview" with a company on the north side of Fort Wayne, knowing nothing about the position. It turned out to be a sales pitch by a salesman for a sales position that would make me rich and happy. Sitting next to me was a young lady who seemed to be fresh out of college, devouring every word of the gimmick, growing more and more excited about the prospect of becoming rich. All I kept thinking was, "I don't care about that, or that, or that... I just need a little bit of money to pay the bills, nothing more." After some good advice from some faithful friends that included a reminder of the temptation of Jesus and the impatience of Abraham that produced Ishmael, I decided against attending the mandatory training. Desperate times... call for...
Today, I find myself in a dilemma I already faced a few weeks ago: I have an interview with the major school district in Fort Wayne for a position, and at the same time there's a potential temporary job at a company called Navistar that I found through a staffing agency. Last time, I was in this exact position, nothing came from any of it. But today, I feel different. I'm tired of being worried or stressed; it takes too much energy. Energy I'd rather spend enjoying my family. And what's the point anyway? Worry and stress don't change anything, especially when I'm convinced that God is going to provide for me regardless of my circumstances (Matthew 6:25-34).
So, I must pay attention. I must be sober-minded so that I may learn what God is trying to teach me in order to grow in my faith instead of idly standing by while it slowly withers away. So what am I learning? The saying goes, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." I disagree more and more as each day goes by. The reality is that "Desperate times call for desperate faith." In other words, desperate times require desperation, in faith, upon the providence of God. Without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). But with faith, anything and everything is possible (cf. Matthew 17:14-20).
So, I have peace now. Upon killing the flesh with all it's worries, stresses, and anxieties, I may walk in the Spirit. But it must be death in one and life in the other. Oh, may it be that we would always remember to continually put to death the deeds of the flesh! It's not a one time thing, but a constant discipline.
The Lord's will be done -- now, in two hours when I have this interview, tomorrow, next week, next decade, and forevermore!
